As suggested by readers, this time, I explore numerous games or humorous bi-plays that are part of weddings and their customs. When I was recently reviewing my old research, I was fascinated by the variety of games and the humour they lent to what is often an emotional and stressful time. While weddings are, by and large, happy occasions celebrating the coming together of the young bride and groom, they also bring together two families with diverse thinking and customs.
The stress of completing the wedding ceremonies, the pressure of ensuring everything runs smooth, and tackling monetary challenges — all add up. Amidst all these, sometimes tempers run high and emotions bubble over. It was perhaps for this very purpose that Indian wedding ceremonies incorporate a variety of simple and often silly games that serve as relief and amusement. It also helped keep the bride and groom entertained during tedious ceremonies.
In South Indian weddings, the bride and groom sit a few feet away from each other toward the end of the ceremonies and roll coconuts to each other. The trick is to keep the coconut rolling and keep it on the right trajectory and not allow the wayward coconut to spin off in a different direction. Sometimes it becomes almost monotonous but is like an oasis of calm after the bubbling over of motions at the wedding. At this point, there is more to come. The bride officially leaves her home, so this rolling of coconuts provides a welcome break to catch her breath and calm herself.
Some of these ceremonies are lost in modern times or substituted with a core symbolic gesture. An example would be the custom of throwing turmeric-coloured water over everyone. While traditionally this was almost a ducking, today, almost a sprinkle suffices as a symbolic gesture. While it serves well to be practical and conscious of only the most important customs, I sometimes believe we lose an almost whimsical charm when we drop them.
There is a strange custom I am told about at some weddings in Rajasthan. The bride traditionally attacked the groom with the sword; if he survived, he was allowed to marry her. With the change of times, the bride now symbolically attacks the groom with sweets or flowers, a humorous event with the family looking on. Thankfully, the injuries are far less. Hiding the groom’s shoes is another popular game at many weddings. And of course, the return of the shoe requires compensation. Compensation is usually in the form of money. The purpose originally, was not so much the actual compensation received, but the asking and receiving which happens in the midst of fun and laughter while also giving family members a chance to get acquainted and interact with each other.
There are many others like these, and I will share more in articles to come. If you remember or would like to share your memories or customs do email me.
When we talk of traditional games, we tend to think of structured and formalised play. But games are more than just that.
These traditional bi-plays are little games, or to use a popular buzzword from today — a gamification of the ceremonies lending perhaps credence to the fact that humour is a part of life and play can help us laugh and defuse the stresses.
When the event is over, like a distant memory, all those closely associated will perhaps remember the laughter that has the power to bind families forever.