As a child, school breaks meant trips across southern India to visit relatives. If I was lucky, it was a getaway. Sometimes these were temple trips, with a stop at a beach or scenic spot to keep me happy. While not always excited, I enjoyed them by marvelling at tall trees, reading comics, or just soaking in everything. I was a traveller on a journey financed and planned by my parents.
Years later, these temple runs continue — now, as vacations with a side of spirituality, and I steer the plans.
When I reflect, planning vacations might have been a financial burden for several parents, such as mine, and perhaps that’s why these trips were few and far between. However, travel has now become an escape, a journey for self-discovery, and an opportunity to tick places off your bucket list. From exploring the Ellora caves and savouring regional thalis to posing on Andaman’s beach and experiencing the Ganga aarti, I wouldn’t choose anyone else for these journeys but my parents. Like me, some young professionals find travel to be something deeper — an opportunity to reconnect with their parents as an explorer, a history buff, a foodie, and a friend.
When Deepti, a digital project manager at a creative healthcare agency in the UK, moved there for her studies in 2021, she began travelling with her parents whenever she visited home. During a trip to Dubai, they realised how much they enjoyed spending time together as a family. “This interest in travelling is something we recently discovered. Since we did not have any deadlines or responsibilities anymore, and a lot of free time in our hands, my mom decided to try travelling,” she adds.
Similarly, Ruchita Chandrashekar, psychotherapist, says, “I wanted more memories with them as co-citizens of the world, and not as my ‘parents’. When I lived in the US, they visited me a couple of times, and that’s when I noticed the ease we had as a unit and the spark and enthusiasm they had to experience the world.”
But the travel bug bit M Mrithula Sri, a legal associate, at the age of 12. After missing a school excursion, on her mother’s suggestion, the family chalked out an itinerary to Munnar. “We made several stops en route, explored offbeat spots, interacted with locals, and followed their suggestions,” recalls Mrithula.
Bonded by interest
Having had their fill of visiting domestic destinations, Mrithula and her family have set their eyes on other countries, travelling every alternate year.
Travelling beyond international borders appeals to these families. From choosing the cities and planning itineraries, to convincing our parents to step out of their comfort zones, we are at the helm of things. Shared costs, joint budgeting, and a common interest aid these travels.
Cultures and countries attract Deepti and co. “My mom has befriended an agent whom she asks for suggestions based on our budget. For trips that cover multiple places, we opt for a group,” she notes.
While variety interests Mrithula’s folks, Ruchita’s goal is to visit a new country every year. “We do a mix of touristy places, food spots and experience common man-like things. For example, we love going to the local grocery store, trying the seasonal fruit of that place,” she shares.
But there is much to explore within India, especially in and around Chennai, says Preethi Hari Babu, an assistant professor. Her nature-loving travel group usually includes her mother, a neighbour, an aunt, and their daughters.
Beyond doing activities that they all enjoy, we also learn about our parents’ interests. “My dad loves learning about public transport infrastructure in a new place, my mother enjoys learning about clothing and culture and what daily objects make people’s lives easy,” shares Ruchita. Deepti notes that her father enjoys the city’s nightlife, and my parents revel in history and heritage.
Health first
Most of these parents have just entered the senior citizen category, and children exercise caution. From getting the doctor’s green signal to checking up on accessibility at popular spots, each has their own checklists. The activities, too, are spaced out to provide them comfort.
“The trip is centered around their convenience and ease. I book comfortable Airbnbs, never a hotel or hostel. We also start the day early and end by
6 pm, so they have ample time to rest. I also ensure that the day we commute from one city to another, in a new country, that is all we do, ” says Ruchita. Deepti, meanwhile, ensures a visit to their local doctor and stocks up on the essential medications a week before every trip. Preethi notes, “My athai (aunt), who is 80+, joins us sometimes. Mostly, we go to a green place or a hill station where there is little activity, like Pichavaram or Pondicherry. I generally take them to spots where they can relax.”
Rediscovering bonds
Yet, every trip comes with a dose of differences of opinion and cold wars. But we put it behind us and move on. That’s what travel does: It helps you coexist in a foreign place, learn your parents’ flaws, and give them a chance to accept you as an adult. “The change of scenery and routine really brings out a different side, and since we are in a new country, it’s more like we are the only ones for each other and makes us realise each other’s worth more,” says Deepti.
Preethi has seen the elders open up: “My aunt (my athai’s daughter-in-law) is from a conservative family. She would have to take permission to even go out. When she goes on these kinds of trips and explores the outside world, she relaxes and the memories they make refresh them.”
At the end of every trip is the beginning of a plan for a new trip, with lessons from the previous ones. “All this planning has made me more proactive and brisk even in daily life and at work, and it also gives me motivation to look forward to the next trip. I feel like our lives are now revolving around our travel plans,” shares Deepti.
Having made memories over the past few years, I suggest making your parents your travel buddy. You will be surprised at what you might find. “Consult them less and just make all the decisions. If your parents are eager and enthusiastic people, every effort to make this happen is fully worth it,” says Ruchita, adding, “Each trip peels a new layer to my parents’ personality that I would’ve never discovered if we had always been in the ‘home’ environment.”
Deepti, Preethi, and Mrithula also encourage the same. “As children, there is always this assumption that trips with parents are not fun, and we subconsciously start reaching out to others for travel plans. But I realised how parents are also different people when on vacation, the way they get excited when visiting new places, fascinated by seeing the locals and also how they let themselves loose, not worrying about daily responsibilities,” says Deepti. Preethi concurs, “When you travel together, you see that they are also putting up that front as a strict person. You will know their real self, you understand each other better, and bond automatically.” Ruchita quips, “I joke that these are my ‘single mother with two children’ trips because I plan and execute everything. But it is something I look forward to and enjoy, even if the responsibility can be immense. It’s a lot of fun to see the world with them.”
Whether it’s a weekend getaway or a cross-continent journey, travelling with parents isn’t just about visiting new places. You rediscover old bonds and begin to see them not just as caregivers, but as companions with their own curiosities and stories.
In a sequel to this story, watch out for an article on how senior citizens have embraced solo travelling.
Suggestions for a family trip
Preethi: Start with a trip to watch the sunrise at a beach or sunset from Tirusulam or St Thomas Mount. Go boating at Pichavaram.
Ruchita: Japan is incredible; it is so diverse, accessible for senior folk, and there is something for all ages.
Mrithula: In India, try Leh-Ladakh, the backwaters of Kerala, and Ranthambore National Park. Abroad, Japan, Switzerland, and Dubai cater to all age groups.
