Somewhere between the years when they planned every detail of their children’s summer vacations and now — when their children plan their own — a new pastime has found its way into many parents’ calendars. The parents — most of whom are now retirees, with a phone full of group chats buzzing with good morning wishes, motivational messages, and travel plans — are the OGs of turning WhatsApp conversations into travel itineraries, adding stamps and pages to their passports.
“Between our child’s education, loans, and other expenses, there was no question of taking leave and travelling,” says a former teacher, Remadevi V. Apart from working for a few years, all her life, she indulged in hobbies such as gardening and cooking “I usually keep myself busy with that,” she admits.
Remadevi is no different from most women in our households — not voicing, not wanting, and not expressing. Her family’s well-being was her priority, and supporting them in their success was her desire. But on one random day, everything changed just like in the movies, wherein in a song sequence, the story’s lead travels around the world.
Routed to their roots
Like the gentle opening notes of a song — slow, rhythmic, setting the mood — Remadevi’s travelling days began with a trip with her husband to her homeland, Goa. She says, “We first travelled without the kids because we had to. It was a sort of compulsion. Before my husband’s retirement, there was this office rule where he had to take one trip before the last working day. So, we went to Goa.”
For her, that trip carried a quiet sentiment. “We’re Konkanis, our roots are from Goa. During the Portuguese era, my ancestors moved from Goa to Kerala. I married and eventually settled in Tamil Nadu. Since then, none of us had been there to know our history or meet people who speak our language,” she explains.
Remadevi connecting to her roots is akin to rediscovering old favourite songs — evoking emotions, memories and comfort. Now she’s exploring the world at her own pace. “When you travel, there’s a different kind of peace, right?” she says, smiling. After Goa, the couple has been to different parts of the continent, including Singapore and Malaysia this May and Nepal last month. She wishes to go to Japan someday.
Taking these international trips in groups is “less satisfying” to Remadevi. She explains, “My focus is usually on the greenery around and scenic spots, which I wish to see at my own pace. But in group travels, there’s always a schedule — get up at six, return by seven, etc. Sometimes I like to roam around till 10 at night — you can’t do that in a group.”
Though her group trip to Singapore and Malaysia was 10 days long, she wants to visit the countries with her husband again. “When we go in a group, the ladies come together and sit on one side, and the men on another. My husband’s not beside me. There are some spots where I wish he was next to me,” she confides.
Remadevi is living her life like a music album, where each journey becomes a track — some upbeat, some mellow — but all holding memories of companionship and discovery; very similar to Vedavalli H. Each trip she takes is knowledge for her. She says, “We learn a lot of things when we travel. We know the history of how places have come about, the thought process of say an architect, and the significance of the symbols carved or engraved. Wherever we go, we buy a lot of books to read, understand, and get connected to the place better.” She notes that she takes out her diary whenever her friends visit any place she’s already been to. “I guide them where to go, stay, and what to do. I also tell them the importance of that place.”
Joining the conversation, her husband Ramaswamy Hariharan, retired as a senior executive, Sundaram Fasteners, comments with pride, “My wife keeps all the records. She is a very talented girl.” The duo has been going on group trips with their family-turned-friends. “We have many friends among our relations, and the trips we take with them are very important. Everybody has to explore our country, because in India there are so many historic temples.”
When asked about their first trip together as a couple, he goes back to his early days of marriage and reminisces, “Our first trip was immediately after our marriage. We went to Tirupathi. While returning, we went to my brother’s house in Thiruvallur and then returned to Chennai. Since 1977, we have been travelling.” Post retirement, they have been to Nepal, Kashmir, Ahmedabad, Delhi, Haridwar, Wagah Border, Golden Temple, and Vaishno Devi Temple.They have also travelled overseas, to the US five times, “because my daughter lives in California. We went to Washington, New York, and Mexico. Nowadays, after Trump, it’s very disappointing for Indian parents. We don’t want to go. That’s why I asked my daughter to come over here,” Ramaswamy laughs.
New day, new destination
The new visa restrictions and regulations have meanwhile, piqued Kalpana R’s interest in visiting the US. She admits, “I didn’t want to go to the US before, but now I’m really interested; visa issues make it more intriguing.”
Her first solo trip was to Australia in October last year. Though she stayed with her relatives there and attended a family function, she travelled alone to see Sydney. “After that trip, I decided I should plan one solo trip every year.” Because it was on this trip, she went whale watching in Gold Coast, waterfalls in Brisbane, and explored the lanes of Canberra. “I saw everything, stretching from one coast to another. It was all well-connected by train, very comfortable. In Sydney, I felt like I was in a mini Tamil Nadu; everything was familiar. There are even Nalli and Kumaran stores there. It feels like T Nagar. Even in airports you’ll find Tamil people,” she says, recalling how familiarity made a foreign land feel like home.
For Kalpana, the place itself is more important than comfort and company. “From childhood, I’ve liked geography. Others would study the theory, but I focused on maps and geography. People usually ignore those, but I specialised in them — like climate and landscapes.” And that’s what interests her — to see what she has read all those years ago, living in the same space as she once saw in her books.
Before her retirement, she went on two trips with her uncle, who usually plans her itinerary. One, a divine trip to Mukthinath, Nepal, and Bhutan for taking in the oxygen, “to cleanse my lungs. Bhutan is full of nature. But I couldn’t do everything, like climbing the Tiger’s Nest. I regret that a bit; I wish I had started such trips earlier. If I find a good companion, I’ll go back for that one,” she says, noting it down in her ‘places to visit’ folder in her mind.
After retirement, she went to Vietnam and Cambodia mainly to see Angkor Wat. And now her dream destinations include New Zealand, Northern Lights, and Canada. “There’s a transcontinental train journey that I wish to take during the autumn season.
With these travel stories, it is known that age has little to do with curiosity. If anything, it only deepens it. They travel for meaning, memory, and to experience the thrill of rediscovery of places, people, and often, of themselves. And perhaps, the idea that adventure belongs only to the young is no longer the norm.