Pregnancy, though exciting, can also prove to be a difficult time for women, as their body goes through several emotional and physical changes. During such a time, it is important for a woman to receive undivided attention and emotional support from her partner as they transition to parenthood together. Given the lack of literature available on being a supportive father all while embracing and understanding fatherhood, Chennai-based antenatal counsellor and author, Rakhi Kapoor (45), decided to delve into the topic.
The result is her book Expecting Daddy Delivers: Be the Man Your Partner and Your Baby Adore. A comprehensive guide for fathers-to-be, this book probes different issues that a pregnant woman goes through and what her partner can do to help. We speak to the author to know more about the book. Excerpts…
What was the inspiration behind this book?
When I first started writing the book on pregnancy, it was for women. However, after finishing it, I realised that there were a number of pregnancy books for women. What was the point of lecturing them without making sure that this [pregnancy] was not supported by a family member?
Tell us your thoughts on why men need to be guided through the stages of pregnancy.
I believe men are aware of their emotions, however, they have no idea how to share it with their partners. Pregnancy physically happens to a woman and while men understand the discomfort, they have no way of empathising since they have never felt a similar feeling. If you don’t know, how are you supposed to help?
Feelings are subjective. How is a man supposed to understand a woman’s feelings as well as follow the book’s instructions?
I have given them options to try. However, I also stress that they need not get disheartened if something is not working. Taking the effort is what matters the most. The book is just the beginning, from it they [expecting fathers] have the liberty to improvise and change as they feel fit and according to their preference.
Have you received criticism for your book? How do you tackle the same?
I had doubts. When I spoke about the idea, one person asked me if I thought any man would pick up a book like this!? Yes, I did have a lot of people doubting my decision to write a book on pregnancy. A number of traditional publishers in the city [Chennai] rejected me; and I was disheartened. How could they refuse to see the novelty of the book? I feel self-publishing this book was the best decision I made. It gave me the most energy, the most inspiration. I am happy because I have control over this book. It has enhanced my own career. It supports my practice.
What’s next for you?
After 20 years of practice, I have streamlined my profession. Now, I focus my time on high-risk pregnancies with specialised mothers who themselves have medical or surgical conditions. The next subject that I plan to write about is infertility issues.