In an era during which self-love is sacrosanct, many people have been engaging in ways to pamper themselves—taking a solo holiday, a day for a well-deserved spa session, or indulging in me-time daily.
A latest example of self-love would be by Kshama Bindu (24), from Gujarat who is reportedly ready to get married to herself on June 11. Bindu claims hers is India’s first sologamy (a symbolic ceremony of commitment to oneself), a practice popular in the West that is still quite unheard of in India.
A few Delhi-NCR youngsters weigh in on whether sologamy can be considered as the ultimate act of self-love.
Sologamy: Yay or nay?
Gurugram’s Aman Yadav (29) believes that sologamy is a personal choice, “If you are enough for yourself, there is nothing better.”
Echoing Yadav’s thought, Tushar Madaan (30) from Paschim Vihar shares how he discovered self-love after a break-up.
“After the break-up, I realised it is important to give time to oneself. To completely give yourself to you [in marriage] seems like an interesting concept.”
Amid such positive reactions, there are others who consider Bindu’s decision bizarre. Srishti Gupta (23) from Lajpat Nagar says that while self-love is important, she does not believe that she is capable of such an over-the-top act.
Agreeing with Gupta, Hritika Singh (22) from Greater Kailash quips, “I know myself and I would not want to marry me.”
Saket-resident Shilpa Samant (31) mentions she finds sologamy unnecessary.
“If you are single, you are already telling the world that you are happy with yourself. Performing such an extravagant ritual seems weird,” she shares.
To commit or not to
With sologamy on the rise (in the West)—the idea has more to do with prioritising oneself over others—many have come up with their own logical loopholes.
While Gupta and Singh harp on the fact that if a ‘sologamist’ has other partners that might be considered cheating in conventional terms, Madaan and Yadav point out how these are personal choices.
“If a person committed to oneself decides on another partner, it is their understanding,” shares Yadav.
Madaan adds, “Sologamy is not a conventional concept. If this intimacy falls under the act of self-love, then it is way within the boundaries of sologamy.”
Making a case for how bizarre the concept is, Samant questions the idea of divorce.
“Who pays the alimony? Do I pay myself and go on a holiday? And if so, isn’t that also a way of self-care? These lines are very blurred.”
Bindu might be the first ‘sologamist’ in the country, but judging by reactions, it is difficult to say if she will be the last. For people who believe in the concept, the idea is still in a nascent stage.
Yadav concludes, “Many people our age are always in this dilemma of getting married or not. While literally marrying oneself would never be my end goal, being single and happy is as much an act of self love as this is.”
WHOLEHEARTEDLY SMITTEN BY THE SELF
Psychotherapist Shaifila Ladhani from East Delhi shares, “In the Indian context, sologamy is a fairly new practice. However, I feel the biggest challenge would be of recognition—of people understanding the concept and finding a sense of belonging. Like in any healthy relationship, this decision would be of the person in the marriage to define what the marriage looks like.”