Being humane in our relationships and the related interactions reflects our level of culture, which is the encultured capability to manage our psychhosomatic wellbeing without ruffling others. Highest culture is the nobility that emanates and elicits love. Concern for other’s well-being constitutes the nobility. Pragmatically, behaving like a sensitive being is the essence of one’s culture.
Most of us, although well educated and civilised, are deficit in such culture as we let the ego with it’s subtle to gross prejudices, possess our manner of relating with others. Letting our measuring minds and judging eyes colour our mien, we loose the opportunity of renewing relationship with that communing empathy and convival of get togetherness.
Formalities foil the chance of cheering each other’s spirit suppressed by the shenanigans oof our ego. Being ever active, our ego dictates, our disposition and denies the opportunity of exchanging the unconditional elevating love. that is why we remain and look depressed with our calculative and manipulative egoes. Sincere friends and children enjoy the moments of mutual love. Most of us prefer to avoid rather than avail of such potentiality joyous moments.
Most of us affect the skin-top culture to meet social compulsions of acceptability and respectability and do not realise it’s significance as enlivening and life-enhancing process. It is heart-deep culture that enables us enjoy the human relationships and hence the life. And unless one learns to meet other human being with an open mind, one’s courtesy is not complete and not heartening. Such courteous conduct is determined more by one’s body language than the verbal communications and the dress.
While we endeavor to be presentable self, we are not wary of the impulses of ego breaking into the projected persona. these unseen impulses breach the beauty of intended interface inducing similar awkwardness in interacting others. Mutual repulsion and compulsive withdrawal tendencies make the engagements laboured and unenjoyed gestures. That is why we seek loneliness until driven by situational compulsions.
The proactive ego never let’s us enjoy the bliss of the present moment. With it’s inset assumptions, expectations, prejudices, predilections, illusory thinking, imaginary conceptions, complexes-cherishing inclination, the wily ego interfaces and more often interrupts the possible harmonious mutually energising interactions.
Our egocentric mindset makes us prone to envy and jealousy, anger and aggression, elation and depression, frustration and agony, pain and pleasure in our thinking as well as behaviour ofte subverting our cultural veneer. And in sustaining this fragile facade, we dissipate our vital energy by futilely suppressing the said emotions. For our knowledge and ability to manage these undesirable emotions is confined to mere controlling tactic and not the containing strategy. Due to such immature way of managing the mind, we look lost and tired in our appearance that has repelling impact on others. Infact it is anti-climax to our most cherished and expected cultured projections of ourselves. The children and women look cultured as they have less of ego-induced conflicts and contradictions.
In ultimate analysis, it is the faithful reference to the non-egoistic self that is related literally a ‘heart’ ot spiritually as ‘soul’, that could sustain our inclination to be and behave as cultured person. The clarity that our egoistic ‘head’ dilutes and diverts our cultural inclination and the faith that the ‘heart’ is the seat of culture helps one to overcome the culture deficit. The common experience of ourselves that how the heart’s attention steadies the wavering mind and helps one to be a good listener and observer and hence a mannered socialiser and an empathetic caretaker in office and family is irrefutable reason to cultivate faith in enculturing heart. Being heart-conscious and not mind-conscious (self-conscious) is the essence of culture. Sensitivity and sensibility are it’s manifestations. Pride and prejudice are it’s opposites.
Finally, to put tersely, culture is the capability to be attentive by heart to anyone or anything.
This article has been taken from Art of Being and Art of Living by Captain KV Reddy