HYDERABAD: Roshan is a 16-year-old and seems just like any other child his age. A shy teenager, he takes time to warm up to a stranger, he follows a daily schedule which includes finishing his studies and doing homework. He helps around the house and lends a hand to his stay-at-home mom and working dad, and even his elder sister. And he bakes.
The inspiration behind Mom’s Cakes and Bakes, it is the creative outlet for the youngster who otherwise doesn’t particularly have an avid passion. An interest that was recently discovered by his parents, what makes Mom’s Cakes & Bakes special is the fact that Roshan is autistic.
Says Marie Varghese, Roshan’s mother, “His condition was discovered when he was a toddler. Physically, his milestones were fine; by the time he was 10-months-old, he was walking, crawling and so on. But even when was 16-months-old, he was unresponsive to people calling his name and stimuli of that sort.”
Marie’s mother-in-law, who is a doctor, suspected the child perhaps suffered defective hearing. And so the rounds to the doctor began.“We went to a hearing specialist first, who then directed us to a neonatologist to check if the delivery had gone fine. The neonatologist’s wife was a psychologist who pointed us in the right direction,” explains Marie.
It was at Niloufer hospital that Roshan was diagnosed as hyper active with autistic tendencies. “He was two when we found out; in fact it was just before his birthday,” remembers the parent.
While figuring out the condition took almost a year, what Marie and her husband Varghese Jacob soon realised was that doctors in India had minimal to almost nil understanding of autism.
“Even today, we come across doctors who are unaware or are not specialised in dealing with autism. The US and other western countries have a lot of research going on and the general awareness is high. But not here,” says Varghese.
Autism is a disorder in the neural development which leads to impaired social communication, difficulty in forming relationships, using or understanding language and abstract concepts, and restricted interests along with repetitive behaviour.
Which means Roshan’s public interaction by usual measures isn’t very effective and can be misconstrued as rude and bad behaviour.
“Many people tell us that we’ve pampered him too much or feel that he is misbehaved. But they don’t understand that he is autistic and that is just the way he is,” shares Marie.
However, that hasn’t stopped the parents from trying to provide their son as normal a childhood as possible. “We put him in regular school initially but quickly shifted him to a special school. But we found that after a point of time, it wasn’t helping him at all. These children were just left to their own devices and in fact, we began receiving complaints that Roshan was ill-tempered and being difficult,” remembers the father. Which baffled both parents as the child was generally sweet-tempered at home. They finally decided to home-school him.“Following a routine is very important for these children. They need a time-table, and for a younger child, something pictorial will also help,” says Marie.In between home schooling him and involving him in household chores, last December, Marie noticed that Roshan had taken to baking. Given the Christmas season, the family was busy making cakes for the festival.
“He seemed genuinely interested and it was something he could process. Fixed measurements, a systematic procedure with simple steps; it was specific and in a particular order that he could understand.”
So in January, they launched Mom’s Cakes & Bakes, catering to a small pool of family and friends.
“We were worried because he had to be independent in life at some point. After we’re gone, his life can’t stop there. We’ve been trying to find something that would interest him that he could pursue, and one day this just happened,” says a visibly relived Marie.
Though it’s only been a few months, it has been the most consistent interest Roshan has shown in an activity. With about four to five cake deliveries in a week, it fits in nicely with his home schooling as well. While his mother does help him quite a bit, Marie is quite confident that in time, he will be able to manage on his own.
“Routine is very important for children like him. It is quite tasking sometimes because initially you need to physically assist the child. But six months or even a year down the line, they will pick up the routine and do it by themselves,” explains Roshan’s mother.
Inspired by their son, Marie and Varghese are trying to encourage parents of other autistic children to find a vocation for their child. “It is very important for these kids, more so than regular kids, because they can become quite dependent on their parents, yet their parents will not be around forever,” says Varghese.
Talking about the school system as well for autistic children, he adds, “Many of these special schools are in fact started by parents like us. Their heart is in the right place, but somewhere along, the system isn’t helping each and every child. Added to that, parents think that the school will take care of everything and do not follow up. That is very wrong. You need keep your end of the deal as well.”
From including the child in simple household chores, like sorting out vegetables, folding garments, putting away things, these children will learn many little lessons. For instance, how to count, distinguishing colour, shapes and sizes, and so on.
Marie adds that it is also important to teach the child with aids that are available around them and not spend on special toys. “It was one of the best advice I received early on from one of the doctors. Using what’s available also makes it more relatable.”
Roshan now has become more social and confident of himself. It’s been a steady slow progress but progress indeed. With their labrador Roxy in tow, who plays a calming role in the teenager’s life has also helped him explore new places with lesser reluctance. “She has really helped. We had gone to Mumbai recently and taken Roxy with us. Roshan would lead her around and was a little more willing to adjust to a new place. He’s definitely been taking more initiative,” says the happy mother.
The parents hope that this may just be start of something good for their son. For now though, Roshan seems quite happy baking. You can taste some of his culinary expertise at www.allgodscreation.com.