A cistern normally takes 10 hours to be filled by a tap, but because of one open outlet pipe, it takes 5 hours more. How long would it take for that outlet pipe to empty a full cistern? I thought this kind of problem only existed in math books until I noticed our water tankers spilling fresh water as if it were saltwater.

If ignorance is bliss, I’d love to be in the bliss zone of the people in the water tanker business. Only someone unaware that there’s only 3% fresh water in the world would operate a vehicle designed to transport 20,000 litres and lose buckets of it on every bump and sharp turn, like the UN dropping food packets in a war zone.

A typical water tanker has three outlets:

The first is on top and is never covered by a lid, allowing it to pour a drum full of water over every speed breaker it crosses. This explains why all the speed breakers in the city are strong and keep growing taller.

The second is a secret outlet that’s always leaking, leaving a trail on the road so Hansel and Gretel can find their way home.

The third is the official outlet, which dispenses the remaining droplets at your house.

The only time I’ve seen a water tanker not disburse water is on its way back when it’s empty.

Let’s do some math:

A water tanker has a capacity of 20,000 litres and lets say it travels an average of 10 kilometers, hitting a speed breaker every kilometser, losing 5 litres of water at each one. By the time it reaches your house, it has lost 50 litres — about the same amount of water a single person uses in the bathroom daily. So if that one guy in your office seldom takes a bath, don’t blame his hygiene, blame his water tanker.

Taking this further, last month Hyderabad ordered 60,000 water tankers. This means we’ve poured 3 million litres of water on the road. Greta Thunberg would probably bite the neck of whoever designed this disastrous tanker.

I’m afraid to do the math for a whole year because the result would make me protest outside their offices.

The authorities update the price every year but never bother to upgrade the container.

As a society, we have more efficient ways of wasting water, but that’s all after transit. If anyone has the right to waste water, it’s the ones who are paying for it, not the ones who are transporting it. If there’s a day when God (if He exists) asks me what happened to all the freshwater, I’ll save myself by blaming the water tankers only.

(The writer’s views are his own)

(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)

@johnnykasandesh

Sandesh Johnny

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