Taking Responsibility

Published: 26th May 2015 06:06 AM  |   Last Updated: 26th May 2015 06:06 AM   |  A+A-


The wedding season is here and independent, working women are not just being choosy about their partners and uploading their self-made profiles on matrimonial websites, but also listing out to-do-lists for pestering ones to let them know how to be a gentleman and move out when left without a response.

When 24-year-old Shobha Misra had her Whatsapp buzzing from possible matches, she took it to Facebook to tell them how they should approach a girl. Clearly, technology-savvy women with higher incomes are showing their assertiveness in choice of their life partner.

“Not to sound arrogant but I got so worked up with prospective alliances I met, that I made a list of guidelines telling them what to do if they want it to click with me. I shared that list on Facebook,” Shobha explains. Her exhaustive list includes asking the prospective grooms to use her email and Whatsapp details wisely, not to make assumptions or judge, instead ask questions, show interest in her hobbies, not to be rigid, talk about her to her and not to her parents and if it doesn’t work out don’t go complain to them that their daughter didn’t respond properly.

IT employee Meenakshi Singh’s matrimonial profile is handled by her and overseen by her mother. “Being 28 years old and single doesn’t go well in our society. So each time a ‘perfect-for-you-guy” fails to click with me, my mother gets paranoid,” she says. Meenakshi agrees that factors like job, pay and to some extent looks also matter, but compatibility and freedom to choose your partner at your terms is more significant. “Just because my mother thinks a guy is perfect doesn’t mean he is; not until he proves otherwise,” she adds.

Aiding your assertion

While most people are utilising the technology to facilitate the process of matchmaking, sadly not all prospective alliances are able to make best use of this resource.

“If you choose to connect with me on Whatsapp, wait for me to respond before getting into story telling mode about who you are. Under no circumstances should you call me up until we have had a friendly chat and I am comfortable enough to talk to you over the phone,” cautions Shobha.

For S Preeti it is a put off when she gets an email from a prospective groom with just a line ‘Hi, let’s catch up sometime’. “There is a reason why you have my email id. Since it doesn’t have a word limit, you might as well write a paragraph or two about yourself, just to break ice,” she explains.

‘Don’t be stupid!’

Most young and independent women are not shy about letting people know what their choice of life partner is or what they feel they deserve when it comes to marriage. However, not all men take the hint that it is time to move on. Neha Shah feels that once you know you haven’t been able to hit it off, there is no point in prolonging the conversation. “Act mature and tell your parents that things didn’t work out,” she says and adds that “complaining to my parents that I did not respond to your texts makes you look juvenile”. Meenakshi agrees. “It is such people who are scaring me about the institution of marriage,” she says. “May be I should also try to the dating websites,” she jokes.

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