HYDERABAD: We hate rain. Since time immemorial it’s been raining in Hyderabad and since time immemorial, we’ve been extremely under-prepared for it. Don’t get me wrong, this isn’t a rant about our city’s infrastructure. Instead, it is an ode to the people of Hyderabad, who in true cat-like fashion, refuse to be prepared for rain, come what may.
If you don’t believe me, just take a second and think of everyone you know in Hyderabad who owns an umbrella. Let me take it one step further. How many Hyderabadis have you seen carrying or using a raincoat? If you can count them on your fingertips, well, that is the point. These are collectors’ items in our city. Believe it or not, just the name ‘Hyderabad’ sends chills down the spine of the umbrella and raincoat industry (no, really).
It rains for roughly two months every year and yet our best defence for this recurring natural phenomenon is stopping at a nearby bus stop, shop (or literally anything apart from human inventions that are made specifically for this purpose). While a lot of Hyderabadis were thankful that the Metro would cut their travel time to half, there were many who saw the Metro bridges as a solution to travel on their two-wheelers in the rain without a raincoat.
Before the IT boom, schools, colleges and even a whole lot of commercial establishments called it a day if it started raining before 7 am and went on for more than a couple of hours. Back in those days, morning rains were no less than a bandh. Visiting friends and family from Mumbai (who literally cross seas to reach places in monsoons) couldn’t believe that just a few hours of rain was enough to make any day a Sunday here. Perhaps they were jealous. One wonders, where did this inexplicable aversion to rain begin?
No, it wasn’t the Mughals. I believe our rain patterns are the real reason for this behaviour. Twelve years of schooling taught us that seasons come one after the other but in Hyderabad, a rainy day comes with two-three hours of peak summer — a combo sale deal no one asked for. Some days it rains like we’re in Cherrapunji and just 20 minutes later, it gets as hot as Mount Doom from The Lord of The Rings. Perhaps that’s the reason no one uses an umbrella or a raincoat here. No one wants to drive around in a silly-looking raincoat on a bright, sunny day. And what’s worse? The moment you get rid of it, it starts to rain again.
(Bhavneet is a stand-up comedian and this may be his new material.)