HYDERABAD: There are millions of influencers, YouTube channels and books that claim to give you ‘life hacks’. But I promise you, I’m going to give you the most useful of them all (although I’m aware that’s how all those videos and books start!)
In telebrands’ voice, Are you sick and tired of not living up to your potential? Do you almost never keep up with your new year resolutions? Are you still sad about the India-Pakistan match loss? Well then guess what? You’ve come to the right place for the first two, because honestly, even I need help with the last one.
After numerous attempts at ‘New Year resolutions’ and majestically failing at them, I’ve finally found a way to almost always succeed at them. ‘Is this guy really talking about New Year’s resolutions on October 28?’ Yes, because that’s part of the plan.
Picture this. It’s December 31. You’ve let go of all negativity that existed in the past year. You’re all set to usher in the ‘new year, new me’ policy tomorrow. Your gym membership is booked, your diet plans are sorted and you’ve set a bunch of other goals. Everything looks great, nothing can go wrong, right? WRONG!
Because the next thing you are going to do is head to a party, have a great time, crack a lot of ‘see you next year’ jokes (it’s 2021, we need to stop these) and wake up late in the afternoon with a hangover where on the first day of your resolution, you’ve tanked it. This happens year after year and then you just start believing that maybe these resolutions aren’t for you.
But hold that thought because the simplest solution to this is to take your New Year resolutions on November 1 (hear me out!). You didn’t recite the 13 table on your first day of school (I still can’t). Apple wasn’t the Number 1 company on their day one. Sachin Tendulkar didn’t hit the perfect straight drive the first time he picked up the bat. All of this took trial and error -- like every good thing in the world.
When you make your resolutions on November 1, you have two months to try it, fail at it or even change it. As silly as this sounds, this is a sure-shot way of making your resolutions stick. It’s unrealistic to expect one day to change your entire life (even though politicians tell you otherwise). The key is to build momentum towards it and then absolutely smash it when the time comes.
The only loophole you need to be aware of is -- postponing this every day till you reach January 1! Yes, your friends might make fun of you, yes you might feel silly about it too, but trust me, come January 1, you’ll be thanking me and The New Indian Express. There’s a reason this column is called The Rare View. Wink, wink.
(Bhavneet is a stand-up comedian and this may be his new material)
Rare View Bhavneet Singh