HYDERABAD: It’s that time of year when 10th standard exams have just finished. A kid has just completed a 12-year journey of going to school with four books for each subject. He or she will never have to cover books that already have a cover and can finally say goodbye to their uniform, beginning to dress like their favourite celebrity.
If I were the education minister, I would give everyone a one-year mandatory break before joining any course. But for now, my powers are limited to this column.
Here are the options that life offers you after the 10th standard:
The first option is the deadliest. If any kids are reading this, RUN — as far away as possible, because if your father enrolls you in the “Hitler-Mussolini College” (better known as Narayana-Chaitanya College of Torture Chambers), your life is over.
The college salesman, who is also a lecturer, ex-student, and IIT reject, will promise your father that this 8am-to-8pm course will guarantee entry into IIT. The course is expensive, but the cost can be recovered with a dowry once your kid has the prestigious IIT tag.
The only thing you will learn here is how to bear pain, just in case you end up in an abusive relationship or as a protester at India Gate. Also, there is zero chance of mingling with the opposite sex because they have separate lunch breaks for boys and girls.
The second option is the one that is closest to how life is portrayed in the movies after the 10th standard.
These are your St Mark’s, St John’s, and the remaining friends of Jesus Christ. Here, life is semi-strict; you’re required to show up in clothes of your choice. While the Catholic father is pretending to practice celibacy, you are totally allowed to mix and match. This is the perfect place to unleash your talents because there’s a stage for you to dance and sing, grounds for you to play sports, and if you’re any good, you’ll get the attention you’ve craved all your life.
In such colleges, life is the biggest teacher because nobody is really forcing you to study, which is great because you finally get to decide if you really like books or brats.
The third option, which many would say is the worst, is actually the best, in my opinion.
Here, the college will have simple names like Rahul or Pankaj. The college will be on the third floor of a building where the first floor is a chicken shop and the second floor is an electronics store. There won’t be any grounds, halls, or facilities, nor will there be any compulsion to attend class.
Here, you not only bunk classes but also have the option of taking the lecturer along with you, to the movies. There are zero expectations from your relatives and society once you mention the name of your college. The course will also be a walk in the park, because that’s literally what your days will be like.
But as a great singer once wrote, “in the end, it doesn’t even matter.” Trust me, I have friends who have studied in all these colleges, and they work in the same company in the same position and are equally unhappy.
(The writer’s views are his own)
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)