HYDERABAD: Lying is a sin as long as you are under your parents’ authority, but once you are old enough, you realise that lying is a really useful tool. You can make an extra buck, save your relationship, and easily rule a region for the longest time. But over the past few years, I have come across some pakka Hyderabadi lies and can’t help but wonder who started these lies and why.
The haunted house
A decade ago, a rumour circulated about a haunted house in Begumpet next to St. Francis College. Because back then, petrol was cheap and watching reels wasn’t a pastime yet, so people would get out of their homes, line up next to the ‘haunted’ house, and wait for the ghost to appear during rush hours. Well, to disappoint, only cops would appear to clear the traffic, but their lathi was surely scarier than the ghost.
The mystery of Irani chai addiction
One day, out of pure appreciation, I was wondering why Irani chai is so good and addictive? Within a few seconds, a random guy appeared on his RX 100 and told me they mix drugs and hence the addiction. After separating every element, scientists found that the only addictive substance was sugar, and it was impossible to sell drugs for Rs 10 a cup.
The legend of the secret tunnel
There is a secret tunnel that goes from Charminar to Golconda. The secret tunnel is a believable story, but what use is a 10 km long tunnel that will take you from within the city to within the city? This tunnel would only ease the commute of the guy who sells original Ray Bans for Rs 120 outside tourist spots.
Salt scarcity hysteria
Exactly seven years ago, someone started a rumour saying that salt is scarce in the city, and soon people stocked up their houses with gunny bags of salt, proving the scarcity of iodine in the brain which helps you think better.
The biryani myth
The least effective story was the one that said that a certain biryani place served dog meat, which thankfully nobody believed simply because the amount of biryani we eat and the number of dogs just don’t match.
While one can never guess why or what someone must have gained from all these lies, I can surely guess who started all these lies. It surely has to be the guy who first said ‘5 min mei aarun’
(The writer’s views are his own)
The Why Junction
Sandesh Johnny
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)