HYDERABAD: There’s a chicken-and-egg problem I’m trying to solve these days — who went to the restaurant first...a Hyderabadi food influencer or the GHMC official?
Here’s the context — my Instagram feed is now a buffet of two extremes. On one side, there’s a food influencer dramatically eating the most rudimentary item on the menu and yelling, “Kiraak! Abba abba abbaaaa! Crazy heavenly!” On the other side, there’s a grim news update: “GHMC finds cockroaches and expired milk in restaurant kitchen.” It’s like a sitcom where one person falls in love with the food, while another wants to put it behind bars.
Which brings me back to the question — who went first?
Did the influencer walk in, raving about how “the food is heavenly,” only for the GHMC official to hear this and think, “Heavenly? Of course! Half the ingredients have already crossed over to the afterlife.” Maybe the inspector concluded, “We need to raid this place because apparently, expired ginger-garlic paste has the power to make people see God.”
Or was it the other way around? Did the GHMC first issue a press release saying, “Expired milk and stale chicken found in kitchen,” and then the influencer, ever the daring foodie, thought, “Hmm, expired food must have a unique flavour!” and then put up an Instagram story with the caption:
“The biryani here is to die for. No, seriously.”
For influencers, food is not just a meal; it’s content. Their taste buds are powered by filters, hashtags, and the promise of free meals. It doesn’t matter if the dosa batter is older than the restaurant itself — they’ll still declare it “iconic!” One might even say, “This vintage butter chicken is life-changing.” Sure, it’ll change your life — but into one with frequent doctor visits.
Sometimes, I wonder if influencers are immune to food poisoning. Is it the lighting setups that kill the bacteria? Or are they so focused on getting the perfect shot that they ignore the cockroach doing a victory lap on the plate?
Meanwhile, the GHMC officials are the unsung heroes of this story. They walk into the same restaurants not for Instagram likes but to save us from unknowingly participating in Hyderabad’s version of Fear Factor. While the influencer screams “mind-blowing flavours,” the GHMC official is busy examining that “mind-blowing” aftertaste, thinking, “Ah, it’s the expired yogurt that’s doing the magic here.”
Honestly, Hyderabadis would benefit more if the roles were reversed. Imagine if food influencers raided kitchens:
“Breaking News: Influencer finds two-day-old rice in fridge, rejects restaurant for bad vibes.”
And GHMC officials reviewed food:
“The butter naan is soft, but the butter? Expired since 2022. Overall, a negative dining experience.”
If these two worlds collided, we’d either have the cleanest kitchens or a new trend: “Five Cockroach Cafes You Must Try before they are closed down due to a family feud."
In the end, Hyderabadis are left with a choice — trust the influencer raving about “authentic flavours,” or the GHMC report warning about “authentic bacteria.” Either way, it’s a gamble. But hey, as long as the biryani is spicy, who’s counting the cockroaches?
(The writer’s views are his own)