Last week, I wrote like an activist. This week, we’re going full nostalgia mode — because it’s the cheapest emotion after regret and biryani without raita. Also, with so many new people moving to Hyderabad, maybe someone’s wondering: What’s the story of this city? And we Hyderabadis could use a quick refresher too — just so we can give a better intro than ‘Traffic bad, but food good.’
Once upon a time, there was nothing. Then God created Adam and Eve, the Ramayana happened, followed by the Mahabharata. And just a little after that — between the 12th and 14th century — the Kakatiyas ruled this region. They were the first to build a mud fort on Golconda hill. So technically, the Golconda Fort is the nucleus of Hyderabad.
Today, there’s almost nothing in Hyderabad that reminds you of the Kakatiyas — except Kakatiya Mess, which holds more legacy than their entire dynasty. And I’m not even forcing a pun here — a friend of a friend once saw India’s top rapper Divine eating there. So yeah. Take that, Viral Bhayani.
Then came the Qutb Shahis. They turned that humble mud fort into a proper stone fortress, built the Charminar, and gifted us our favourite name debate: Bhagyanagar or Bhagnagar? Named after a lovely wife or a city of gardens? Who knows. Who cares.
Unless you moved here to join politics, it doesn’t matter.
Also, we like ‘Hyderabad’. Try typing ‘Bhagyanagar’ in your Amazon delivery address and your parcel will reach some uncle in Balanagar who now owns a free tripod. And you’ll be the one going to the Amazon office in Gachibowli for a refund.
Anyway, Golconda Fort was one of the strongest forts in history — never defeated in war. Until one guy just opened the gate after getting bribed by Aurangzeb.
Moral of the story: Hyderabad has always been a very welcoming city. Especially if you’re paying.
Then came the Mughals. Then the Nizams.
There were seven Nizams. They built the Tank Bund, raised horses, wore cool hats, and basically shaped Hyderabad. There are still around
500 of their relatives fighting over inheritance — so if you see someone in Jubilee Hills saying ‘this land was ours’, just nod and buy them a Coke.
Post-Independence, Operation Polo happened and Hyderabad was ‘seized’ and merged into India. Also — small detail — we have an unhealthy obsession with horses: Operation Polo, Ghodé ki Kabr (yes, a literal horse cemetery), and a racecourse that no one has ever actually seen. Just random horse references across the city.
Then came Mr Chandrababu Naidu, who in just two terms changed the face of Hyderabad and turned it into the IT hub we all came here for. From Cyber Towers to traffic towers, he did it all.
We liked him so much…we carved out a whole new state and sent him back.
In 2014 came The Great Split. Hyderabad became the capital of Telangana. Car number plates changed from AP to TS, and now apparently it’s TG.
So many changes happen here that even this one didn’t feel so big.
In 2016, SRH won the IPL. That one magical summer when we believed orange could fix anything. Then demonetisation came and said, ‘Hold my chai.’
In 2020, Hyderabad gave the world a COVID vaccine — and also continued doing tech work from home in lungis. So now we have two side hustles: IT and immunisation.
Somewhere around then, RRR was born here. Then Sandeep Reddy Vanga wrote Animal here. And now we’re in the present, with no hopes of an IPL trophy this year, but full hopes for a movie where Jr NTR punches a tiger again.
So yeah, that’s the short story of Hyderabad.
Now you know just enough to last three beers and one shawarma conversation.
Cheers, and welcome to Hyderabad!
Sandesh Johnny
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)