One basic mental health tip we are all given is to practise gratitude. You’re supposed to look inside and find things to be thankful for. Like Tamannaah recently shared in an interview — she thanks each part of her body while taking a bath. That’s good. I tried the same and ended up with divorce-like feelings for my own body.
Well, I couldn’t look inside, so I looked up... and saw the fan. And realised — maybe I can start my gratitude from here.
To be honest, we can all be a bit more grateful for our cooling appliances. I mean, there was a power cut yesterday, and it did feel like the world was going to end. So, here we go:
Fan
Fans are the most loyal cooling appliances of all. They don’t need service, they don’t use much power, they run all year, and they don’t make noise — actually, they do, but we’ve been listening to the fan sound for so long that it’s now just part of our subconscious. A few winters ago, when I went to Manali for a month, I had to play an ASMR video of a fan just to fall asleep. It’s not just an appliance, it’s also our favourite white noise. The only sad part? Fans don’t have fans. ACs and coolers have fans, but fans don’t have fans. They only have wings.
Cooler
The name stays true to its game. It’s called a cooler, and it will cool — period. But what the name doesn’t reveal is quite apparent while operating. Using a cooler is like living with your grandpa — it’ll ask for water now and then, needs wheels to move around the house, makes loud noises while you’re sleeping, and can go off anytime without warning.
But it’s simple. Old-school jugaad technology. You don’t need an engineering degree to build one — even my tenth-fail cousin with pliers can make it work. And it’s available everywhere — it’s the only appliance you can buy right next to the watermelon stall. All your summer shopping done in one place.
Table fan
Table fans are becoming rare in modern homes, often only seen at old Irani cafés. But they still have their charm. Table fans are for those who want a direct breeze. It’s like a windy bike ride, but indoors. The gentle whirring makes it a calm presence in the room, like living with a quiet introvert — it doesn’t talk much, just sits in one place and blows air at you.
AC
Before I start with the AC, I’d like to apologise to all my female readers (i.e., my sister and mother). I tried other analogies, but this one just fits. This ends here, I promise. After this article, I’ll promise to read Gloria Steinem. Just humour me for this one.
AC is like your girlfriend — high maintenance, has moods and swings, and is bound to split. It likes being cleaned regularly and only professionals are allowed to do it, and the same button is used to turn it on and off.
But there’s some confusion in the AC department too. Like when people say ‘AC kam karo’, what exactly are we supposed to reduce? Temperature? Impact? Or the bill? It also causes the most arguments: Is 16 ideal or is 24 good enough? I’ve seen this argument tear apart families. They don’t call it split AC for no reason.
And like any relationship, you can go monogamous or polyamorous. Some people use only the AC. Some like a threesome — AC, fan, and just them. Some people go full orgy — AC on blast, fan spinning at 3, and a blanket to make you warm again. Not judging. Do whatever makes you sleep at night.
Sandesh Johnny
@johnnykasandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)