Hyderabad is super diverse when it comes to people, food, culture and all other aspects we think we value but actually don’t. But when it comes to colour, I see a monopoly. Grey.
If I had to paint Hyderabad and had the option of choosing only one colour, it would be grey. Without using any other colour, I could paint an exact image of Hyderabad. No error.
Look up and you see the sky. It is all grey. I could never get used to this because I have seen blue sky in movies, Instagram stories, and in real life. I once lived in the Himalayas. Even now, I occasionally go back to the hills, Ananthagiri Hills, the closest place where the colour of the sky finally matches my windows wallpaper.
If you start blaming pollution, you also have to blame yourself, because we are part of the problem. So I have stopped blaming and instead imagine that the Hyderabad sky is ageing. It has developed that permanent salt-and-water look.
Leaves are green. We all know that. No, sir or madam. Not anymore.
Touching leaves is supposed to be good for you. Get in touch with nature, they say. But in Hyderabad, if you touch a leaf on the road, the next thing you need is sanitiser. That is how dusty and dirty the leaves are. When I water my plants, I do not just water the roots, I also water the leaves. I water plants for inner growth and outer glow. I should probably find a face wash for leaves too.
I once spotted a plant that was green and perfect. I was genuinely shocked. I thought, is this some anti-pollution plant or have I finally found a clean area in Hyderabad? Neither. It turned out to be a plastic plant with plastic green leaves. Take that, nature lovers.
Buildings are grey by default. They are actually the source of all grey. Cement is grey, and half of Hyderabad is under construction at any given time. The other half is waiting for permission. Even if you paint a building white, it stays white for three weeks. After that, dust from some other construction site shows up uninvited and makes it grey again.
Floors are grey by default. Walls are grey. We have gotten so used to grey that sometimes even inside the house, everything looks grey. The smoke from agarbattis is grey. Plates and glasses are steel silver, which blends nicely into grey. At this point, grey is not a colour. It is an emotion. I do not just see grey, I feel grey.
All this I can still accept. We do not have a choice. But vehicles? We have a choice.
Red, yellow, black, white. These colours still pop up in my sight. But no. After white, which eventually becomes grey, the most chosen colour for cars is grey. Really?
I researched this. By research, I mean I asked one friend who bought a grey car. He said, “On a grey colour car, you can’t spot dust. So the car won’t look dirty.”
That is a typical lazy Hyderabadi solution. Instead of removing dust, we have decided to join it.
Now I have developed a personal hatred for this colour, especially because my beard has started getting grey hair. And now I am wondering, is this how it starts? Is our blue planet slowly turning into a grey planet? First the sky, then buildings, then cars, now me.
I know we cannot avoid smoke and dust because they give us things we like, homes, clothes, toys. But is there a way we can change the colour of pollution from grey to red? At least then we will spot it. Red would scare us. And maybe, hopefully, it would stop us from becoming Delhi.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)