
I didn’t study journalism in college, but I know this much — the basics are the 5Ws: Who, What, When, Where, Why. Let’s use that formula to understand the recent uproar around Karachi Bakery.
WHO
When you see the footage, you might guess it’s some folks from the orange one. But the party denied that the guys belonged to them. So maybe they were Sunrisers fans? Or just idiots. (I’d bet on the latter) They were shouting ‘Bharat Mata Ki Jai’, which means they do love the country. They were angry at Pakistan but weren’t entirely satisfied with how expertly India handled Operation Sindoor, so they took matters into their own hands. They didn’t have drones, MiGs, or tanks, so they set out on foot and sadly only reached Shamshabad.
And that’s where they found the enemy — hiding in plain sight, selling biscuits laced with sugar and maida. Honestly, if they were protesting against sugar and maida, I’d support them.
Some said the protestors were uneducated — not true. They know fifth class geography. They know Karachi is in Pakistan. Their education just stopped there. Because if they’d continued till sixth class, they’d know Karachi Bakery is an Indian brand, started by migrants from Pakistan after the Partition.
WHAT
They vandalised the signboard — specifically the word ‘Karachi’ — and demanded the bakery change its name because it sounded Pakistani. Now that they’ve sorted that out, I’m guessing they’ll move on to other serious national threats like Mysore Pak, which might be renamed ‘Mysore Hind’. My favourite restaurant, Pakka Local, could soon become Akka Local. Pakwan might have to go by Pak-lost, and before you know it, they’ll be out on the streets yelling, ‘Pakoras, go back!’ Maybe they’ll even ban chickens from shouting ‘pakak pakak’.
WHEN
Karachi Bakery was started in 1953. Nobody cared for over 60 years — and mind you, we had full-fledged wars with Pakistan in that time. The protests began post-2019, and they’ll likely keep happening. Every time Pakistan screws up, Karachi Bakery’s signboard screws come loose again. But funnily enough, as the vandalisation increases, the number of branches seems to be increasing as well. They now have 35 outlets across India. I guess any publicity is good publicity — which is probably why the owners won’t change the name.
WHERE
This has happened in multiple cities.
Bengaluru: even though ‘Karachi’ was written in Kannada. Maybe that’s why local signboards are encouraged — so you can know exactly which one to tear down.
Mumbai: The Bandra outlet received a legal notice. Apparently, the word ‘Karachi’ hurts Indian sentiments. When Navy ships from Karachi couldn’t hurt us. Shahid Afridi — who is from Karachi — couldn’t hurt us. How did a bakery signboard hurt our sentiments? Karachi for sure is weak but our sentiments seem to be even weaker.
Hyderabad: And this one really feels shameful. We know the story. Birthday cakes for generations have come from Karachi Bakery. The original branch at Mozamjahi Market is a landmark. Don’t ask your leader — ask your grandfather.
WHY
My friend Hriday Ranjan once taught me the 5Ws — telling me that of all the Ws, ‘Why’ is the most difficult. But in this case, it’s the easiest.
Lack of knowledge + Propaganda + Joblessness. That’s it.
And if I go any deeper, this article might not get published and I might get arrested.
Honestly, next time Karachi Bakery should just invite the protestors in for a meal. Only then they’ll realise it’s a pure vegetarian bakery. In fact, the only real crime Karachi Bakery has committed is calling itself a bakery without selling an egg puff.
AND...
Just like Diwali has Ali and Ramzan has Ram, Karachi Bakery has Ramnani — that’s the name of the CEO.
So the next time someone wants to shut it down, just tell them that.
And dare they touch that name now.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)