IPL is over. At least for SRH. Some other team will win. Probably Mumbai. Why? Because it’s their app. They haven’t won on their own app even once. And they also need a new headline after the Ambani wedding. So yeah… that’s how I place my bets.
Now, sports journalists will say SRH was inconsistent this year. I disagree. This was the most habitual a Hyderabadi team has ever been. This is how we play when we have absolutely no plans of winning a trophy.
This season took me straight back to 2008 — great lineup, one huge score, a couple of centuries… and still comfortably chilling in the bottom half of the table. It’s in our DNA. A tradition started by the Hyderabad Ranji team, officially launched by the Deccan Chargers, and now faithfully carried forward by SRH.
And hey, we still finished sixth. Above KKR and Chennai. We found joy in other teams’ suffering — a concept I recently learned a word for: Schadenfreude. (Thanks, Trevor Noah.)
By the fourth match itself, we knew the pattern. So Hyderabad did what it does best — we moved on.
JCBs went to work on the HCU campus. Students went to protest. We shifted focus from cheering overseas players to chasing Miss World contestants. Instead of making a fan poster of Nitish Reddy, someone made a funny portrait of Revanth Reddy. Priorities shifted.
Zepto delivery boys — usually watching matches on their phones while navigating traffic — change gears only when the over changes, not the signal. But this time, they realised they weren’t even getting paid. So, they went on strike. Like SRH’s bowling — they refused to deliver.
The mid-season slump, when we dropped to 10th, reminded IT employees of their own position in the bell curve. They used this time to upskill instead of watching Travis Head kill — predicting turnover instead of runs per over.
Even my stand-up shows — which usually suffer during IPL (and also generally) — saw a small spike. I asked one guy in the audience, “Bro, how come you’re here during an SRH match?” He said, “Couldn’t watch SRH lose again… figured I’d come here and lose my mind instead.” True story.
The players? They’re employees. They’ll do their job. But the fans? I’m proud of us.
We proved the Buddha statue at Hussainsagar isn’t just aesthetic — it’s working. Like Buddha said, “Desire is the cause of all suffering.”
We desired 300.
Didn’t get it.
And like good humans, we didn’t go after Pat Cummins’ mother or Klaasen’s sister.
But we hit hard or fell hard — no half measures. Unlike CSK.
Comedian Muneer gave me closure when he said: “SRH isn’t the only orange team that aimed for 300 and lost the bet.”
I met a hardcore SRH fan — looked like he walked straight out of the dressing room. He said, “The batters tried playing aggressive cricket… but for most fans in the stadium, it felt like a regressive ticket.”
My paan shop anna summed it up best: “Our job isn’t to win the trophy. It is to make sure at least one other team doesn’t reach the playoffs. We did that to LSG. Mission accomplished.”
In stand-up, they say: start strong, end strong.
It was still a good show.
You do you, SRH.
No complaints.
No expectations.
No trophies.
Thank you.
Sandesh
@msgfromsandesh
(This comedian is here to tell funny stories about Hyderabad)
(The writer’s views are his own)