KOCHI: Social networks have opened up new avenues of easy and hassle-free communication, but the new-found freedom, when coupled with the inability to safeguard private information can land users in trouble.
This story from the case diary of a clinical psychologist illustrates one of the major pitfalls of social media: A couple of months back, a 43-year-old woman approached a counsellor after being harassed online and offline by a 22-year-old youth who made an acquaintance with her as a door-to-door salesman. The woman, who was not Internet-savvy, was convinced by the youth on the need to set up a Facebook account so that he could send her the technical help for a gadget she purchased.
As wife of a Non-Resident Indian with kids studying in institutions outside the state, she was leading a lonely life. Their online friendship gradually grew and he became a regular visitor at her home. But the woman wanted to break free once she realised that their relationship was turning abusive. He was hugely possessive of her. The youth, 21 years younger to the woman, would shower abuse if her mobile gives a busy tone to him even for a minute. He wouldn’t let her talk to her parents or to her kids.
The woman thought that she could stop the online harassment if she shut down her Facebook account. But she was unaware of the possibility that he might have her photos and chat record. The youth used the woman’s technical ignorance to trap her in a relationship.
“The social media has wiped out the bar on age in relationships. In social networks like Facebook all members can be friends and equals. They make you feel younger than you are,” says psychiatrist Dr C J John.
The virtual world of social networking has an overabundance of friendship, which is rarely possible in a real world. Most of them would be faceless and people have less inhibition in sharing their fantasies.
“It is a seductive world. People who are not ready to face the real world feel comfortable in the virtual world. They even express intimate feelings without any inhibition. So in a self-monitored world it develops into an addiction like alcohol,” said Dr Arun B Nair, a psychiatrist based in Thiruvananthapuram.
Counsellors and psychologists cite many cases where marital discords sprout from an overdose of Internet. The disputes would be mostly centred on the time spent on Internet for browsing and chatting, unshared passwords and use of fake IDs.
The divorce petitions currently being heard by courts, most of them filed at least three years ago, have excessive phone use as material evidence. But it is only a matter of time before social media interactions take their place as exhibits.
“We are not sure if excessive use of Internet is a cause for marital separation. But one thing is sure. The excessive indulgence in social networking sites has diluted the seriousness of family relations,” said K M Rasmi, an advocate practising in the Family Court, Ernakulam.
Rasmi says social networking provides women the opportunity to sneak into a world hitherto banned. “Men had the opportunity to get into other relations, whereas women with various social restrictions on their movement could not. But the things are changing very fast,” she said.
(To be continued)