KOCHI: Stepping into the teenage can be a confusing time for an individual. It is a period of hormonal changes and self-discovery. Teenagers can be very impressionable as they are discovering more about themselves and the world around them. During this period, they can be difficult to understand and tend to go through several emotional extremities. Managing a teenager is like managing a horse.
First, you have to put the reins on, and you can’t just keep it tight, at times you have to let it lose. At the same time, you can’t completely let go of the reigns. The trick is: don’t try to please them and don’t try to displease them. They are undergoing a very tough time emotionally and physically and you have to handle them very skillfully. Here are a few ways to tackle teenage angst:
An adolescent can be rebellious, just how a child can be mischievous. Mischievous children are to be motivated and not forcefully disciplined. When you think of mischief, you should start smiling.
Value-added education
Every parent wants their children to be well-educated. However, it is also important to instil values in children. We need to harness a child’s capacity to digest more and understand more instead of just bombarding them with a lot of unwanted information. Creative methods of teaching will help children build their personalities. The education system should prevent people from becoming fanatics. The right education must harness a mind that is free, not obsessed with anything and neither angry about the past, nor worried about the future. A good system of education must instil self-esteem and creativity.
Parents of teenagers ought to be friends with their children
That way, a parent can get through to a teenager and give them the advice and support that they need. Teenagers should be allowed to express themselves and their ideas. It is important to guide them, but they must be given the space to learn from their mistakes and pick up on what is right and wrong for them upon exploring on their own.
There is an old saying in Sanskrit, “When your son or daughter turns sixteen, behave with them like a friend”. Don’t be their teachers, don’t tell them what to do or what not to do. Give them the space to share with you what is in their heart, and their problems. Be a friend who is at their level. If you relate as a friend and not as a parent, they will open up to you. Then the gap gets bridged. Once the gap is bridged, love flows and communication happens. And once communication happens, virtually all the problems are solved.
Teenagers need to inculcate spirituality into their lives
Following spiritual practices such as yoga, meditation, mindfulness and being in knowledge helps them keep unwanted thoughts away and helps them embrace all aspects and elements of life.
Teenagers must embrace a combination of new and ancient
Many teenagers do not do anything to increase the capacity of their consciousness. There is a bombardment of information from audio, visual media, movies and video games. This puts pressure on the mind and can cause mental illnesses later in life.
Teenagers must exercise creative expression
Practising ancient techniques such as Avadhanam, meditation, yoga and pranayama along with creative sports, dance and music will go a long way and provide one with a channel for expressing themselves, which can help do away with teenage angst.
Be ready to swallow the anger or frustration of your child
Mother, father and a teacher will have to swallow the anger of a child. You have to be ready to swallow their anger or frustration. Even if your child is very annoyed with you, you take it and you do what is good for them and not just what pleases them. Know that you will always find a way out!
We need to keep teenagers very busy, give them plenty of entertainment and lots of sports. Give them so much work that they do not have any time for anything. It is between the age of eight to eighteen that they can learn sports. They should go to the gymnasium or do swimming.
When someone has done swimming for an hour, and then some exercise they come back home and all their energy is exhausted and all they want is to sleep. The morning they wake up fresh and they should learn music, they should be given a lot of puzzles, and they should be exposed to a lot of information, entertainment, and education. This is how you can channelise their energy.
Sri Sri Ravi Shankar is an Indian spiritual leader (The views expressed by the author are his own)