KOCHI: Elizabeth Thomas, a freelance journalist and content writer based in Kochi, has been on the hunt for a flat for the last three months. She personally went and checked nearly 10 flats and the owners’/residents’ associations of all of them told her ‘no’, because she was single. Some suggested, if she could bring in her elderly parents here in the initial days and “establish” that she is a family woman, they can accommodate her, but on a condition that the parents should be visiting her once in a while.
“I am a 33-year-old working woman. I earn for myself and pay for the accommodation. Then, isn’t it my right whether I should stay single or remain unmarried? I totally agree with the landlords demanding not to sublet the flat or maintain the building properly. That is the owner’s right. But how can they decide who should visit us or stay with us? As long as the privacy of the neighbours is not disturbed, why are they bothering about the marital status of the tenants?” she asked.
Recently, many youngsters, preferring to stay single, have come forward complaining that associations are turning them away only on the basis of their marital status, no matter which gender they belong to. Vishal J Mohan, a techie working in Infopark in Kochi said the problem is severe in the city limits and not in the Kakkanad area.
“The owners in and around Kakkanad are not reluctant to let their houses/flats to single men or women, maybe because of the impact of Infopark campus here. However, my friends, who are from Kaloor, Kadavanthra and Elamakkara areas have complained that the owners are not willing to let their houses to bachelors, even in groups,” he added.
Common issue
The case is not city specific, says writer and activist J Devika, who is living in Thiruvananthapuram. Though single men are acceptable in groups, young women living together are often shunned for their dressing style and time of arrival at the building. She added that the eyes of the “conventional moral police” always follow them and make ugly remarks.
“Recently, in a well-known residential property in Vazhuthacaud, young women had to face a series of incidents where the elderly men were poking their noses into their lives. All of them were IT professionals and some of them were born and brought up abroad. So, their dressing style was not conventional, and they held parties. When some of the neighbours objected to the noisy parties, they agreed to it. But intruding into their lives is not acceptable,” said Devika.
Generation gap
However, she also added that the new generation should be kind towards the security personnel and other staff at the building and accept them as human beings. “Those youngsters have lived outside and did not get an opportunity to interact with the people from another class. Once they start accepting them like other human beings, at least some friction can be avoided,” she added. Not all single women are discarded, says a single mother based in Kochi, who wanted to keep her identity confidential.
“Maybe, those who appear to be following the so-called conventional ways of social living are spared. I often live alone or with my child. My parents or other family members often visit me and stay here. So I am nowhere considered as an outcast. I have lived in various parts of the city like Kaloor, Kalamassery and Vyttila and nowhere I faced any kind of moral policing or ostracism from the landlords or neighbours,” she said.
Avoiding headaches
Residents’ associations said they are not encouraging single men or women in their buildings to “avoid headaches” they create. “Earlier, there was no such discretion like singles or married people for letting out flats here. But, once a spinster who had been staying here had issues with her boyfriend, which led to physical attack and bloodshed and finally ended up in a police case. They enter as singles here, bring in their boyfriends or girlfriends and stay back. We don’t know the history of the guests and cannot control them,” said one of the office-bearers of a residents’ association in Kochi. However, when asked whether they would stop families from staying there even if they created any issues, there was no answer.
Another issue being faced by the single men and women are that they may not be staying back in the same place for a longer period compared to the families, who have to stick to a particular place, considering the workplace of the spouse or education of the children. So, if they are not completing the agreed 11 months in the same place, the commission paid to the broker is deducted from their three-month rent deposited in the beginning.
Social exclusion not valid
Lawyers pointed out that preventing people from taking houses/flats on rent based on their marital status is not acceptable, and it is nothing less than social exclusion. According to advocate Sapna P P, one of the founding members of Punarjani, which gives free legal advice to needy women, the bylaws that exclude a particular group of people in a community is invalid. “It is unacceptable if the bylaw of any residents’ association mentions that the members cannot let in people who are not married to live in their buildings. It is not having any legal validity and can be questioned in court,” she said.