KOCHI: Everyone feels lonely at some point in their lives. It is a heavy feeling, hard to define. What is worrying, however, is that loneliness is becoming a social epidemic. Most studies target the impact of loneliness on senior citizens and for good reason. But fresh reports caution that millennials and Gen-Z might be the “loneliest-ever” in the history of mankind.
Major cities across the world are now dubbed “isolation capitals”, representing a paradox where a burgeoning number of people feel alone and lost in a crowd. Kochi is not insulated from the epidemic. It is not uncommon to see “lost and lonely in Kochi” posts on social networking sites such as Reddit these days.
Migrant ‘unacceptance’, nuclear families, work-life imbalance, trust issues, and greater social media involvement have been the main factors that impede social interaction, notes a research paper by Sameer Ali and Abraham George, who did a study on urban isolation in Kochi There, however, is always a silver lining. With an aim to enhance human connection, social collectives are mushrooming and thriving in Kochi like never before. And here, we take a look at some of them.
‘Beacn’ of hope
One notable community making strides in this direction is Beacn, a social entertainment collective backed by the Kerala Startup Mission. Beacn hosts weekly events and activities centred on films, anime, board games, art and culture, nature, sports, etc., to encourage people to convene around shared interests.
Founded by childhood friends Joel Vilan and Abhishek Thomas, who both hail from Kochi, Beacn was established with a vision of providing a platform for individuals from diverse backgrounds to share positive human experiences.
Besides meet-ups, they also organise new experiences for individuals to partake in. Recent hits include Kerala’s first-ever drag event, a rock climbing expedition and beach clean-up drives. Joel believes one of the biggest things that keeps strangers from coming together in a big city is that no one is ever sure if other people are open to being approached. “Beacn works on a pre-approach; everyone is just as friendly and open to new experiences as you are,” he smiles. “Instead of reducing people to their differences, what we really need is to give people a sense of belonging.”
(Insta: @beacn.social)
Express, don’t suppress
Rasa is a theatre collective pioneered by actors and mentors Rahul Thomas and Sidharth Verma based in Kochi. Envisioned as a community space to facilitate acting education to newbies, enthusiasts, and children, Rasa has evolved beyond drama. Alongside their performances that tackle social issues, Rasa offers immersive acting workshops aimed at creating an environment where participants are encouraged to explore their true selves, rather than simply assuming various characters.
“A lot of our workshops are intimate spaces,” says Rahul. “We provide a listening and sharing circle that complements community-building efforts. Group sharing and reflections are customary, and participants share things that they cannot usually discuss with other people.”
Rasa recently introduced ‘Dalam’, an initiative to address the self-retreat syndrome experienced by many people after the pandemic. For those unfamiliar with the concept, a listening circle serves as a safe and moderated environment where anyone can share their stories and thoughts while embracing their truest selves. Participants gather a few times every month, engaging in two-hour sessions that foster a deeper sense of empathy towards others. By the end of these gatherings, attendees leave with a heightened awareness and understanding of the people around them.
“Coming out of the pandemic, we felt like we were not able to connect with people like we used to. There is a certain sense of shame attached to telling people you are lonely. But at Dalam, which is open to all, we like to find what connects us,” says Rahul.
(Insta: @rasa.theatre)
Volunteer for a cause
Social Captains is a volunteer organisation with a presence across Kerala. Currently, the group has joined forces with the Kochi Municipal Corporation and the Kalamassery Municipality in the area of waste management.
In addition to administering door-to-door waste management education, they also bring people together for activities such as beach clean-ups. “Anyone can join,” says Afzal Mohammed, the team leader. “We try to provide a platform where volunteers can spring their ideas into action through mentorship programmes, funding, and assistance.”
Also, serving a goal greater than yourself alongside people who share similar values is guaranteed to make you feel more energised and optimistic.
(Insta: @the.social.captains)
Reading in silence
Another collective born out of the need to bridge people is the Kochi Book Reading Club.
Initiated a month ago by 23-year-old Vachasamrita Saiju, who is also the co-founder of Lupus Trust India, the club aims to enhance the experience of reading by promoting knowledge-oriented objectives.
Every Saturday, the community members meet at Central Park in Panampilly Nagar.
“The concept of loneliness comes when there is an intellectual gap in society,” says Vachasamrita. “We are all going through some kind of pain, be it existential, interpersonal, or physical; may knowledge be the cure.” For the community of readers, spanning different age groups, reading provides an opportunity to nurture their mental health.
“Although I have been in Kochi for a while, I never had a chance to go out much. When I started working, I used to take multiple rounds of a mall, alone. I struggled with speaking to people,” says Sravanya (name changed), who works in the start-up sector.
“The reading activity helped me be at ease with strangers. It also gave me something meaningful to look forward to at the end of the week. Sitting on the grass, reading with other humans, and introducing myself to them has started to help me in so many ways.”
(Insta: @kochibookreadingclub)
Jam wham
Aleena C Sebastian
Music is a universal language that connects people and spreads positivity, believe members of the city-based street band Esplanade. Named after Kochi’s first mall, the band can be spotted pepping up evenings at Subhash Bose Park and Marine Drive. From poignant love songs to delightful ballads, these youngsters from diverse backgrounds tug at the heartstrings of hundreds of Kochiites without expecting anything in return.
Esplanade comprises Ajmal Ashraf (guitar & vocals) from Mattancherry, who is a salesman at a clothing store, Jose Praveen (guitar & vocals) from Vypeen, a philosophy student at Maharaja’s College, Muhammed Badhusha Salim (cajon) from Changanassery, who also works at a clothing store, Shakeeb Hamsath (guitarist & vocals) from Lakshadweep, a music student at Maharaja’s College, and Ashik William (vocals) from Adoor, a student at RLV Music College at Thripunithura.
The quintet has been mostly performing at Subhash Park since their inception in September 2022. “We expect nothing but good vibes,” says Ajmal. “It’s great to see people huddling around, sharing joy in these times when people hardly smile at each other. The sessions are a fun way to connect with like-minded people.”
Leaning more towards Malayalam melodies, such as Vidyasagar classics, Esplanade often has an enthusiastic crowd joining them, crooning out a few lines, and letting go of social inhibitions. “That’s the magic of music,” Ajmal smiles.
Second innings
Sreejith P Kumar
Every Saturday, at AKG Memorial Library in Edappally, a group of fun-loving senior citizens gather for a jolly-good time. Called ‘Nanmavedu’, this association of people at age 60 and above engages in activities such as singing, group discussions, one-day trips, and awareness classes.
“After turning 60, many people tend to be lonely. Some complain about being ignored by their children,” says Babu Nasar, secretary of Nanmaveedu. “This is a place where such people can come together to enjoy and nurture a sense of belonging.”
Babu emphasises that the club adheres to the motto ‘age is just a number’, and that life doesn’t end after retirement. A senior member, Krishnan, nods, adding: “We also conduct sessions to ensure that all of us get a chance to be updated with everything happening around us. Art, literature, finance, mental health… every subject gets covered.”
Another senior member, Kesavan, gushes that he now brims with a sense of motivation, as there is something to look forward to every week. “I got to sing in front of an audience because of Nanmavedu. I never imagined I would do that,” he laughs.
Nebisa, too, loves to sing. “Nanmaveedu has been like a family,” she says. “Besides the fun activities, there are people who would listen to my problems. Sharing personal problems with someone you trust offers a lot of relief, right?”