KOCHI: Bumble makes me fumble, I concede. Being a Luddite still stuck in the age of fountain pens, Chelpark ink and smudged poetry, the new-gen dating app idea goes flying over my bald head.
It’s named so aptly in my case. Bumble, the verb, means to “move or act in an awkward or confused manner”.
A couple of days ago, a journalist friend in Bengaluru threw a ‘Bumble challenge’ at me. She wanted me to explore the ‘cricket lingo’ that’s trending in the Bumble bee circles. As the old school rule goes, the pulchritudinous lady shall be indulged. Thus, I delved into what’s called Bumble’s “mini-dictionary of cricket-dating terms”.
I am forewarned that there is “massive excitement for the game among Gen Z and Millennials”. According to a recent survey by the app, “sports, cricket, in particular, play an important role in dating journeys for Indians”. Hmm, that’s a bouncer.
As much as 78 per cent of Indians surveyed “think cricket matches make for great dates”, the report notes. And 89 per cent “claim they are excited to watch Indian women’s cricket in 2023”. That sounds positive.
Another amusing finding was that 70 per cent of “Indians surveyed believe cricket match dates help them learn about someone’s interest and passion in cricket and 63 per cent believe they get to know someone’s personality (how someone reacts to a win or a loss, etc.)”.
The toe-crusher, however, was that “for nearly 1 in 5 (22 per cent) who’ve been in a dating situation where one liked cricket and the other didn’t, it ended their relationship”. Duh!
Helicopter shot: “Just like a popularly known full-swing shot, the ‘helicopter shot’ in the game of love, is the big move you make when you realise they are the one for you!”
All-rounder: “...someone who meets your expectations and desires leading to a meaningful, long-term connection”
Clean bowled: “Like a straight shot by the bowler that hits the wicket leaving the batsman stumped, this could translate to you being ‘clean bowled’ as you realise you have fallen in love.”
No ball / wide ball: “As the batting side is given one free run and an extra delivery to bat for a ‘no ball’, see this as a nudge for a second chance to explore love and find what you’re looking for.”
Innings: “Every cricket match has two innings when batsmen and bowlers reverse roles. When it comes to dating, why be stuck in outdated gendered roles and expectations in your relationship, instead set yourself up for a successful inning as you and your partner share equal responsibilities at home and in life.”
(Example: “This inning is mine, you can take over the kitchen for today.”)
Target: “Create your own target, one that works for you. Instead of hitting sixes and fours during PowerPlay, you can also make magic happen in the last overs! Date at your own pace and set your own timelines, instead of rushing into things and giving into societal constructs or pressures.”
Hitting a boundary: “In cricket, hitting a boundary - a four or six - is much sought after. However, in your dating journey, avoid the rush. Setting clear boundaries for yourself for your potential connections is crucial for a healthy and equitable relationship.”
Coach: “Every team and player relies on the invaluable support and guidance of their coach through the game. In the same way, your dating allies, who might be your friends or family, play a major role in supporting you through your dating journey.”
Well, I am certain by now that this is not my game. I would be more happy with boxing, rather. The Earnie Shavers kind. His upper-cuts were called the “elevator to God”. One-punch knockout, that’s what I am talking about.
Okay, time for me to exit the Bumble bungle with vintage stuff. Have a PowerPlay week ahead! Leaving you with some interesting picks from Merriam-Webster’s ‘Great Big List of Beautiful and Useless Words, Vol. 1’:
Cacography: “bad handwriting”
Acersecomicke: “one whose hair was never cut”
(Note: “This curious word is rarely, if ever, found in natural use. It appeared occasionally in 17th-century dictionaries, largely disappeared for a few hundred years, and then reappeared in the 20th century in books of trivia or writing about 17th-century lexicography. That’s history’s way of saying: useless.”)
Solivagant: “rambling alone: marked by solitary wandering”
Flipendulous: “suspended by or strung upon a thread”
Flingee: “one at whom anything is flung”
Jentacular: “pertaining to breakfast”
Deipnosophist: “a person skilled in table talk”
Scripturient: “having a strong urge to write
Matutinal: “of, relating to, or occurring in the morning”
Makebate: “one that excites contention and quarrels”
Empleomania: “a mania for holding public office”
Betise: “an act of foolishness or stupidity”
Patrizate: “to imitate one’s father or forebears”
Catillate: “to lick dishes”
Tongue-hero: “a self-professed hero; a braggart”
Noctivagant: “going about in the night: night-wandering”; nox (‘night’) + vagus (‘wandering’)
Agathokakological: “composed of both good and evil”
Cachinnate: “to laugh loudly or immoderately”
Peristeronic: “suggestive of pigeons”
Belly-cheer: “gratification of the belly: gluttony”
Abligurition: “prodigal spending in belly-cheer; spending big on food,”
Sarcast: “adept in sarcasm: a sarcastic person”
Shot-clog: “a bore tolerated only because he pays the charge for others”
Philostorgie: “the love of parents towards their children”
Frivol: “to act frivolously”
Smell-feast: “one given to finding out and getting invited to good feasts; a parasite, sponger”
Sialoquent: “spits much in his speech”
Murmuration: “the utterance of low continuous sounds or complaining noises”
Redame: “to love in return”
Opsimath: “a person who begins to learn late in life”
Pessimum: “the least favorable environmental condition under which an organism can survive”
Conjubilant: “shouting together with joy”
Cacozealous: “ill affected, or badly imitating”
Nastify: “to make nasty; to spoil”
Objectee: “one who’s objected to”
Debacchate: “to revile one after the manner of drunkards”
Recogitate: “to think over again”
Pot-valiant: “bold or courageous under the influence of alcoholic drink”
Peccability: “capability of sinning”
Apatheia: “freedom or release from emotion or excitement”
Acnestis: “The part of the back (or backbone) between the shoulder blades and the loins which an animal cannot reach to scratch”
Routineer: “one that adheres to or insists on routine”
All-overish:”1.vaguely uneasy 2.slightly indisposed”
(Note: “A lovely and little-used word for those moments where you’re feeling a bit off, or just not quite all there. Or when you wake up and immediately check Twitter.”)
Perpotation: “ordinarie drunkenesse”; “exactly how drunk one had to be for it to be considered ordinary” has not been mentioned
Saeva indignatio: “‘Savage indignation’, a feeling of contemptuous rage at human folly.”
Backfriend: “a seeming friend who is secretly an enemy”
Pernocate: “to stay up or out all night”
(Note: “You should perhaps know that this word is most often used in the sense of ‘to pass the night in vigil or prayer’, and not so much in the sense of ‘to pass the night in debauchery at a club’. Take that as you will.”)