KOCHI: Every year, many countries celebrate November 19 as International Men’s Day (IMD). Though not officially recognised by the United Nations, the day is of significance.
The day trains a lens on many issues that men face, including parental alienation, abuse, homelessness, suicide and violence. But since men likely respond more energetically to positive engagements, IMD is a celebration of men’s positive contribution to society rather than a dissection of their problems.
In addition, it promotes positive male role models. Not just movie stars and sportsmen but everyday working-class men, who are living decent, honest lives. The day also places special emphasis on men’s health and their physical, social and often overlooked, emotional and mental well-being.
The idea of IMD was put forward by Thomas Oaster on February 7, 1992. But it was Jerome Teelucksingh who popularised it with his edition in 1999. Ultimately, the goal of the day is to create a safer and better world, where people can grow to reach their full potential.
Here, TNIE talks to a clutch of men to discern their ideas about International Men’s Day
I grew up with a father who expressed his love for me unconditionally and communicated his emotions effectively. Now, I’m able to express my love for my male friends, tell them they matter, and offer hugs. However, affection is something that is often seen as “feminine”. But what a beautiful thing to take away from men. Hopefully, we can create a space where men can be vulnerable, and where they can be themselves. But it’s time to reconsider what International Men’s Day should represent. When we think of that day, we often picture a specific kind of man. We should broaden that image. Changing our perceptions of what it means to be a man is the first step toward creating a more inclusive and compassionate world
— Abel Paul of The/Nudge Institute
One of the changes we should focus on as a society is normalising men’s emotions and fostering more open discussions about the mental health and well-being of men. It’s true that men, in many ways, benefit from privilege. They must recognise this privilege and understand how societal structures are often more accommodating to them than to women. On occasions like Men’s Day, we need to ensure that these discussions address real issues — such as men also being victims of patriarchy
— Anuraj K A, associate technical manager, Technopark
I believe in a society and family structure built on true equality. Men are privileged, whether we acknowledge it or not, and this privilege is often reinforced by society. Men must be willing to let go of these privileges and see everyone as equals, as individuals. Also, in this patriarchal society, there is pressure on men to have traits like courage and toughness, while also bearing heavy responsibilities at home. When a man struggles with these expectations, society labels him weak. This often forces men to conform to the ‘masculine’ ideal. I believe days like Men’s Day are important because they offer an opportunity for reflection
— M R Renukumar, writer
As a teacher, and through my experience working in a few schools, I’ve noticed a troubling trend. When there’s a disturbance in class or a sensitive issue arises, male staff members are often seen as less capable of handling the situation effectively. There’s a general perception that men deal with issues roughly or harshly, which isn’t necessarily true. In reality, men are just as capable of being gentle. Furthermore, there seems to be a bias that only men can handle issues related to male students, and that women are better suited to deal with female students’ concerns. This kind of thinking is limiting. In institutions like schools, the environment must be unbiased and inclusive, where all staff are trained and equipped to handle challenges regardless of gender. I don’t think we should celebrate Men’s Day in India. Here, men are glorified every day and that’s not something to be celebrated
— Thejas Joseph Paul, teacher
I believe that being a man has become a kind of societal disease. Simply being born male has granted certain privileges, but society has turned this into a toxic condition. I want to contribute to small changes that challenge this norm. Many men believe food is inherently a product of women’s labour — a skill they often neglect to learn. I want to change that. I aim to cook for myself, spend time in the kitchen, and take responsibility for providing. The new generation is already spearheading this change. This shift in perspective gives me hope. Change is happening, and I believe we are on the path to finding the ‘medicine’ for this societal ailment
— Lasar Shine, writer
The idea of men as homemakers is still not widely accepted, but it’s an evolving concept that deserves more recognition. Traditionally, men are expected to be the primary breadwinners, and this pressure can shape their identity. However, not all men are career-driven, and some may find fulfilment in homemaking. Also, culturally, men aren’t typically raised to handle household responsibilities in the same way women are, which can make it challenging when they step into this role. From personal experience, I spent time as a stay-at-home husband while working as a freelancer. I handled all the household chores, but when my wife came home, there were still tasks left for her. It was a learning process for both of us, with a shift in the dynamics of how we ran our home. While not perfect, it was a step toward change, and change for the better
— Don Sebastian, who runs a travel company
I believe that whether it’s a man or a woman, the law and justice should be the same for all. However, in many cases, there seem to be visible privileges granted to women. As a man, my concern is, if equality is the goal, why then should women receive special privileges? These privileges made sense when women were confined to the four walls of a house, as that was the reality of the time. However, today, that’s not the case. As a society, we should move away from granting special considerations based on gender and instead recognise both men and women as equals, as humans. In this context, I don’t think Men’s Day should be a celebration. There is little to truly celebrate in today’s world
— Girish M, founder of the Gender Equality Movement
One thing I’d like to see change is how society views men in the workplace. Men often feel pressured to choose high-paying jobs over their passions because they fear judgment or being seen as unsuccessful. While women are often supported in staying at home or following their passions, men in similar situations are criticised or seen as shying away from their responsibilities. This double standard limits men’s choices and happiness and it’s a topic we need to discuss more openly. Another change I’d like is for men to feel comfortable talking about their mental health without fear of judgment. Men are often expected to appear strong and tough which can make them hide their feelings and avoid seeking help when they need it. Yes, Men’s Day is important because it highlights some of these issues and encourages conversations about equality and support
— Galvin Stanley, data engineer
These days, it often feels like it’s easier to paint a man as a villain, and tarnish his reputation. There’s a growing concern that power is being misused against men in certain contexts. This imbalance has created an environment where men can be unfairly vilified or misunderstood. It’s important to recognise that while we need to continue supporting women, society should also strive to be more understanding and empathetic toward men. For instance, the narrative that men only approach women for sex often oversimplifies and misrepresents male behaviour, reducing them to one-dimensional stereotypes. Men’s Day should be a reminder to reflect on who men truly are and to put more effort into understanding their struggles and contributions
— Sajeesh Kuttanellur, standup comedian and founder of Motta Global
With inputs from Thi Aalma, Ronnie Kuriakose