KOCHI: Their story is one of love caught in the crosshairs of societal expectations, a struggle familiar even in progressive corners of the world. They were a same-sex couple, their identities concealed beneath layers of silence. Together, they found a sense of belonging, but apart, life demanded conformity.
Back home, one was urged to live ‘normal’, while the other endured a torrent of abuse. Faced with an unforgiving world, they sought new ways to navigate it — searching for survival, for dignity, or perhaps just a fragile sense of self. They left the illusion called home.
“That was when we heard about an animation course and wanted to register,” says Rose Maria (name changed), of Ernakulam. “My partner also joined me, and we started sharing a dingy room in Kaloor while taking the course to earn a dignified living.”
But the new world wasn’t very kind either. One day, while chatting in a classroom, their instructor walked in and berated them. To shield themselves from such humiliation, they lied, presenting their relationship as platonic.
“That was when it struck me: how long can we go on lying? And why? I wanted to come out, but my partner dissuaded me. We eventually dropped out of the course,” Rose recalls.
Now, the couple plans to leave Kerala to seek educational opportunities elsewhere.
Thiruvananthapuram resident Atul’s story is even more heart-rending. At 19, he was forced to leave home when his family discovered his queer identity. After wandering on the streets and even attempting to end his life, he decided to fight back. He recently enrolled in a hotel management institute in Kochi, aspiring to become a chef.
“But they made my life hell. My trainer at the institute picked up on my queerness from my mannerisms and assumed I was ‘available’. He tried to exploit me. When I resisted, he locked me up and sexually abused and assaulted me, ” he choked while recalling his trauma.
Atul dropped out of the diploma course. He still dreams of becoming a chef, and is searching for a “peaceful place” to study and work. “I want to fight back not just for myself but for similar queer children and youth who have been thrown out of their homes, or dropped out of school.They have nowhere to go and are often at the mercy of exploitative people, who believe they can do anything to us, he said.
Atul was among the students who participated in the first-of-its-kind seminar on queer students and their struggles, held as part of the 13th Queer Pride in Thiruvananthapuram over the weekend.
Navami, an undergraduate psychology student, also breaks down as she speaks about her hardships. Her college-mate Aswathy, a commerce student, holds her hand in support.
“We are president and vice president (respectively) of the queer community in Government Women’s College in Thiruvananthapuram,” says Aswathy.
“Our members have similar or even worse stories to tell. We support each other and always have one another’s backs. Venus Paul, however, didn’t have such a support system at the Government Fine Arts College in Thiruvananthapuram. After finishing my BSc in Physics, I embraced my gender identity,” she recalls.
“After completing an animation course, I got a job in Mumbai, but the pay was meagre. I went to Kochi, where I learned the art of make-up. In my free time, I pursued my dream of studying for a BFA. But my application was twice rejected due to ‘misgendering’ issues. With the help of the state social justice department and the queer community, I eventually secured a spot using the trans quota introduced in 2019. However, things quickly soured. “At first, everything seemed fine, but over time, tensions arose in the college. There were even social media attacks from groups fuelling hatred for the LGBTQ+ community,” Venus said.
Such groups have been targeting students on Kerala campuses, too, where around 100 students from the community study on state scholarships, says Shakhiya S Priyamvada, who has worked with the social justice department’s transgender cell.
“These groups have religious affiliations and openly attack us on social media.One of abusive posts calls trans people “douchebags”, and goes on to rail: “We don’t accept you because you don’t deserve to live in this beautiful world. So either cure your mental illness or commit f**king suicide," added Shakhiya.
Lack of sensitisation is one of the biggest challenges. Despite policies aimed at improving visibility and opportunities for queer individuals, there are still many instances of misgendering, name-calling, bullying, and a lack of empathy from both teaching and non-teaching staff.
“Another pressing issue is the lack of hostel facilities. Many students have left home and can’t afford decent accommodation on the Rs 4,000 stipend they receive. Many stay at the homes of other queer members. Some drop out due to a dearth of accommodation and bullying. Sadly, even some teachers are insensitive. For instance, Some of them deliberately use students’ former names, ignoring their requests to be addressed by their chosen identity," Shakhiya notes.
Such issues, along with the lack of proper restroom facilities for trans people, were discussed during the seminar, which was attended by Shyama S Prabha, coordinator of the transgender cell at the social justice department.
“Sensitisation remains a huge issue. This is why many students drop out. Often, it’s alleged that the aid given to queer students goes to waste when they leave their courses, but we must remember that the money goes to the institution, not the individual. If a student leaves, there are deeper reasons that need to be identified," Shyama said.
The dropout rates that existed before 2019, when reservation policies were introduced, still persist in educational institutions, says researcher and activist Shalin Varghese. “A survey conducted before the 2015 transgender policy showed that very few people in the state were able to complete their education, with a dropout rate of 58-60 per cent from Class 9 onwards,” she notes.
She further said that even now, dropout rates remain high due to the social discrimination they face. These issues require sensitive handling, but since the policy and reservation initiatives were implemented, there hasn’t been a comprehensive review. We have recommended a post-policy survey as part of the seminar.
Shyama emphasises that sensitisation must first begin with the students themselves. “They need to be aware of their rights, the provisions available to them, and the laws that protect them. Educators and the general public also need to be made aware of the importance of inclusivity,” she adds.
Kerala Queer Pride organisers say a list of recommendations discussed at the seminar has been submitted to the higher education department.
“We organised this meet as part of Queer Pride because we lack a redressal forum,” says Diya Sana, one of the organisers.
“We’re told that we face challenges because of who we are. We are still society’s favourite punching bags. Rules may exist on paper, but their implementation remains incomplete. There are still many barriers to overcome and much work to be done before our community receives the humane treatment it deserves.”
Pay attention
Recommendations submitted to the higher education department:
Train the trainers: Some teachers insist on taking the earlier name of students even when their identity card reflects the name of their choice. They harbour strong indifference towards the students.
Redressal mechanism needed: Set up Transgender Support Cells in educational institutions to address the discrimination faced by students.
Need more facilities: Address the delay in scholarship provision, set up gender-sensitive restrooms in educational institutions, and allow hostel accommodation in universities and colleges for queer students. Organise adalats to hear the complaints of the community members.
Post-policy survey: Stock-taking of drop-outs and the reason why they do so need to be made.
Need awareness: Gender-sensitive among the academic community to eradicate queerphobic attitude that leads to discrimination and thus mental trauma of the queer students.
Counselling services and community collectives: Efforts should be made to form community collectives in educational institutions and provision for counselling facilities to address the mental health issues among the students.