KOCHI: Author Ishaa Vinod Chopra, daughter of ace director Vidhu Vinod Chopra, who recently released her book ‘Finding Order in Disorder: A Bipolar Memoir’, opens up with CE about her struggle with bipolar disorder and the stigma associated with mental health issues
What inspired you to write a personal account of your struggle with bipolar disorder?
My journey of writing this memoir began with a few pages of journaling of my lived experiences. As a philosophical inquiry, I initially wanted to name my book In Pursuit of Universal Truths. But when my father provided me with the title ‘Finding Order in Disorder’ after reading just the first four pages eight years ago, I was motivated to shift the focus from journaling to relating it to bipolar disorder. I realised there was a massive gap in the understanding of the disorder, and the stigma that accompanied it was two-fold – self and societal. These layers of stigma prompted me to write this memoir.
Did you ever think it would open up so many discussions?
I doubted whether my memoir would open up the ‘hush-hush’ discussions. Suppressing these conversations makes matters worse for both patients as well as their loved ones. I realised providing real-life experiences could dispel misconceptions prevalent in popular culture. I felt a moral responsibility to reach out and normalise these topics and say that it is okay to be ‘comfortable with being uncomfortable.’
How did Kathak and other art forms help you?
I have been drawn to spirituality, art, dance, and yoga. Someone with my diagnosis needs to have a positive way to channel energies. I was blessed to have Kathak both in and outside rehab. I also uploaded some of my dances on YouTube, where it is hard to notice when I am supposedly ‘unwell’, which is the beauty of art. I used simple yoga asanas to help me relax. Painting was yet another source of creativity, some of which is on my book cover and in the memoir.
How did you open up to your family and friends about it?
I was diagnosed at the age of 16, and made close friends who I am still in touch with. I did not face a significant barrier in ‘opening up’ since I usually did not engage with people who were unable or unwilling to understand or empathise with me. Yes, there were challenges, especially when there were misunderstandings or a gap in communication between me and my parents. However, my suggestion to others reading this is to not carry heavy expectations from family and to believe that they come from a place of love and understanding.