KOCHI: Gone are the days when love letters took weeks to arrive, stolen glances marked the beginning of a romantic journey, mixtapes and handwritten notes passed in class carried deep stories, and waiting by a landline for a scheduled phone call was both the most anxious and exciting moment.
In today’s hyper-connected world, where romance often blossoms in DMs and is sealed with emojis, Gen Z has redefined the language of love. From the uncertain nature of ‘situationships’ to the hurtful silence of ‘ghosting’, the mind games of ‘breadcrumbing’, and the unexpected return of ‘zombieing’, modern relationship lingo is peppered with quirky terms.
Whether these terms are meaningful or not, exploring the concept of love has perhaps never been more linguistically creative.
As older generations struggle to keep pace with this new lexicon, Gen Z’s evolving language around love and ‘connection’ reveals much about how they perceive relationships, identity, and communication in today’s world.
“Nowadays, the concept of love is complicated to talk about and even more to define,” says Humayoon Hussain J A, a student at Rajagiri College of Management and Applied Sciences, Ernakulam.
“Our generation’s take on love has evolved alongside changing lifestyles and relationship norms. Today’s love feels like a mix of old-school emotions and digital influence. But the speciality is that here self-love often matters more. Also, I think our generation is able to adapt, evolve, and create our own rules.”
‘Gen Z is more realistic’
Megha M S, another college student in Thiruvananthapuram, echoes similar views. “The way relationships are built nowadays is based on how connected and comfortable we feel with someone. It’s no longer just about outer appearance, attraction, or a momentary glance that leads to love. That’s a rarity now,” she says.
“Gen Z is more realistic. Earlier, relationships meant something that led people to marriage. But now everyone is taking time, dating, knowing many people, and deciding what they want. I think this is because our generation is more aware of priorities such as stability, mental wellness, etc. We are giving these factors more importance over fleeting emotions.”
In this context, Megha adds, it’s natural for the concepts of love and relationship to get numerous interpretations. “These ideas and situations lead to fast-evolving terminology,” she smiles.
S Prema, assistant professor in linguistics at the University of Kerala, observes that the increasing “cultural contact” with the rest of the world has contributed to this shift in language evolution. “In Malayalam, for instance, the word ‘adipoli’ combines two negative words to create a positive meaning. This was a new addition to the language; it was not used traditionally,” she notes.
“In linguistics, such newly formed words or phrases that gain popularity or institutional recognition are called neologisms. These words may originate from existing terms but don’t necessarily retain their previous meanings.”
New words, Prema continues, naturally emerge when we start using or encountering new things. “This is an unconscious feature of language and society. As the saying goes, necessity is the mother of invention — this applies here as well,” she says.
Language, as we know, constantly evolves. It’s impossible to restrict or reject the introduction of new words. A look at how popular dictionaries have been adding new words on a regular basis is a clear indication how new-gen lingo just cannot be ignored. They can, of course, be brushed aside at the cost of embarrassment or being left out in social circles.
Story of ‘Convincing Star’
Anju Maria Sebastian, an assistant professor of English, highlights how social media plays a major role in spreading and creating new terms. She cites the example of the moniker ‘Convincing Star’ given to actor Suresh Krishna.
“‘Convincing Star’ viral, and now the title has become a way to describe someone with traits akin to some of the convince-and-cheat roles played by the actor. This shows how language keeps changing. We better adapt and grow along with it,” she laughs.
Meenakshi Ramesh, a fashion technology student from Kochi, offers a different perspective on modern relationship lingo. “I think people are now using these terms to normalise certain behaviours. For instance, actions like cheating is being casually justified by calling it ‘benching’,” she points out.
“It’s as if common red flags are being renamed to allow guilt-free movement from one relationship to another with the excuse, ‘I am just benching them’. This indicates a reluctance to invest deeply in relationships. The mentality seems to be, ‘If it has a term, then it’s not wrong.’ That’s something we should be wary of.”
Commitment issues, Meenakshi adds, are common now. “Many in Gen Z are not emotionally prepared for serious relationships but still want to experience what being in one feels like. Also, most are focused on their careers and turning love into something more like a pastime,” she believes.
“It often seems about fitting into something ‘cool’ that’s trending online. While it’s made to sound cool, I don’t think it really is.”
Psychologist Merryn Tharakan acknowledges GenZ’s ‘fear of commitment’, but also points out some positive aspects. “The fear of commitment is definitely present, especially now that relationships are more accessible. The fear of missing out on possibilities has diminished because there’s a belief that if this doesn’t work, something else will come along — ‘there are plenty of fish in the sea.’ But I think this generation is becoming more aware of what they need within themselves before expecting it from a partnership,” she highlights.
“They are learning to anchor themselves as the source of their own happiness, focusing on mental health and self-development. Though some of these efforts are slightly misconstrued, many are heading in the right direction.”
‘Scope for studies on neologisms’
Sindu M, a parent and a high school teacher, views this change as healthy. “I think Gen Z is viewing things more practically and clearly. There are still many people who live without moving forward in life because of old notions of love,” she says.
“Similarly, when someone realises after several years of being in love that things won’t work out and communicates it, others can’t accept it and resort to dangerous acts. There are also people stuck in unhealthy or toxic relationships. Compared with that, this generation seems better-prepared to deal with life.”
Merryn notes that terms like ‘narcissist’ and ‘breadcrumbing’, long part of psychological discussions, are now widely used by mainstream audiences, especially younger people, to describe their experiences.
This rapid evolution of language calls for deeper study, says Prema. “There is growing research on neologisms. This field has significant scope for further exploration, and we can expect more studies in this area,” she concludes.
Well, meanwhile, let’s all brace for Gen Alpha!
Love bombing: “It involves showering a new partner with excessive attention, gifts, and time at the beginning of a relationship. However, once the honeymoon phase ends, the love bomber often loses interest and becomes distant.”
Affordating: “A budget-friendly way of dating that involves choosing low-cost date activities and splitting expenses equally.”
Delusionship: “A situation where you find yourself imagining someone you’re not officially in a relationship with yet.”
Hot-girl summer: “Prioritising one’s own happiness and having fun.”
Nanoship: “A short-term, casual connection that’s free of expectations and long-term commitment.”
Zombieing: “When someone who previously ghosted you reappears out of the blue, wanting to reconnect.”
Cookie jarring: “When one pursues a relationship to have as a back-up plan or safety net, with no real love.”
Love haze: “The initial stages of a relationship where you overlook red flags”
Situationship: “A situationship blurs the lines between friendship and commitment, lacking defined boundaries or expectations. It’s that uncertain complicated space where connections grow and thrive.”
Ghosting: “Ending a relationship or communication with someone abruptly and without explanation, typically in the context of online dating or texting.”
Breadcrumbing: “Sending flirtatious but non-committal messages or signals to keep someone interested without making a serious commitment.”
Roommate syndrome: “When a romantic relationship begins to feel platonic once cohabitation begins.”
Benching: “Keeping someone on the sidelines or in reserve as a potential romantic option, without fully committing to them or investing in the relationship.”
Flirtationship: “Casual flirting for fun, without emotional attachment.”
Textlashionship: “A romantic relationship based on messaging/chatting only.”
Cushioning: “Having backup options, to soften the blow if a primary relationship ends.”
Rizz up: “To attract someone’s attention and make them like you in a romantic or sexual way, or to try to do this by behaving in a particular way”