KOCHI: Emotional intelligence is vital for every child. It involves the ability to understand, express, and manage their own emotions, as well as recognise and respond to the emotions of others. These skills help children navigate social situations, make thoughtful decisions, foster better relationships, achieve academic success and handle challenges in a healthy manner.
Like adults, children also experience a wide range of emotions. However, they aren’t taught how to manage them or cope effectively. While emotions are a natural part of life for everyone it’s crucial to help kids develop healthy coping mechanisms that can empower them to face their fears, calm down when upset, and find ways to lift their spirits.
Before they are taught about coping strategies, children should be able to recognise and label their feelings first. Providing them with the right words to describe emotions is essential, as they may not have the vocabulary to express themselves. You can help by reading books, using “feeling faces” charts, or discussing emotions. One can also use role-play activities so that kids can understand different perspectives. For example, by putting themselves in someone else’s shoes, they can better grasp how actions and words affect others, fostering empathy and compassion.
Another way to help children understand their emotions is by encouraging them to talk about how they feel in a safe and supportive environment. When children feel comfortable sharing without fear of judgment, they can work together with adults to find solutions. This approach not only builds emotional intelligence but also teaches empathy through real-life experiences. Most importantly, listen to their concerns and validate their emotions and let them know that their feelings matter.
Kid-friendly coping mechanisms
A few slow, deep breaths can help kids relax both their minds and bodies.
Exercise is a great way for kids to release excess energy when they’re nervous and lift their mood when they’re down.
Creative activities like painting, colouring, doodling, or sculpting with clay can be effective coping strategies.
Reading can offer a temporary distraction.
Playing a board game or kicking a ball outside helps shift their focus and refresh their mind.
Music—whether making it or listening to calming tunes—can have a positive impact on their emotions.
Laughter is a great way to take a mental break. Watching a funny video can help kids feel better.
Teach kids to speak kindly to themselves by asking, “What would you say to a friend with this problem?”
Learn the difference
There are two types of coping skills: healthy ones that help children manage their emotions, and unhealthy ones that avoid dealing with the issues by distracting them. Unhealthy coping mechanisms include acting out, substance use, violence, and more. Children who learn healthy coping skills early on are likely to have significant advantages in life. They are less likely to engage in substance use, criminal activity, or experience mental health issues.
Remember the part you play
Allow the child to feel their negative emotions. It’s normal for them to feel angry, sad, or scared, and these emotions are part of the healing process. Just be sure these feelings don’t last too long. When your child makes a mistake, such as breaking something in anger or avoiding an activity due to nerves, turn it into a learning opportunity. Help them improve their coping skills so they feel more confident in managing discomfort moving forward.
Always note that any coping skill can become harmful if overused. For example, screen time is often used as an escape. Make sure your child isn’t relying on screens to avoid problems but is instead using them in a healthy way to cope.
Mind and body
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The author is the senior occupational therapist and honorary secretary of All India Occupational Therapist Association (AIOTA).