Importance of anger management crucial as more people turn towards rage rooms
THIRUVANANTHAPURAM: Anger is one of the most complex, primitive emotions experienced by humans. Mental health experts have been flagging a steady rise in anger levels, especially among youth, across the globe. One pointer is the concept of “rage rooms” slowly becoming popular in India, too. Rage rooms are basically spaces where people can vent their rage – by smashing items made of glass, metal or plastic, probably yelling out the name of whoever triggered one. Crockery is said to be a top pick.
Started first in Japan in 2008, the concept was picked up by the West in 2015-16. Over the past few years, rage rooms have mushroomed in cities such as Indore and Hyderabad. Last month, Bengaluru got one. Cost at these spaces varies from about Rs 200 to Rs 2,000 per ‘session’.
Shweta Kurian, of Kottayam, quips she would drive up to any place if such a rage room is launched in Kerala. “I am short-tempered, and I tend to express my rage through words. I have been trying to mellow down, but it is not easy,” says the 30-year-old social media manager. “I do not want to hurt people. It would be great to have some other means of venting.”
Soumiya Ruth, 25, of Kannur, gives a same pinch. “I am ready to snap at any moment,” laughs the marketing professional. “Especially when another person fails to understand my point of view. After the outburst, I will be more composed and stable for effective communication.”Businessman M M Joseph, 40, says he might soon launch a rage room in Kochi. “But there is a problem,” he adds.
“I myself will end up using the space most of the time! On a serious note, yes, anger levels are generally rising. I have seen it in meetings. A lot of people, including myself, are grumpy these days. I yell at my staff, unnecessarily at times. Then I regret it, and look for ways to make it up.”
Please note: medical experts don’t recommend rage rooms as a remedy for anger issues! What is needed, they say, is more focus on the importance of anger management, right from the school level.
“Anger has now become one of the primary manifestations of expressing stress or any negative emotional state,” says Dr C J John, popular psychiatrist and member of Kerala State Mental Health Authority.
“Anger is one of the ways of venting one’s frustration. People have, of late, become more anger-prone. Many people express distress and frustration through anger. Now, this trend is on the rise, as there is a culture of intolerance and discontent among people.”
Look at disagreements these days, he notes. “There has been a shift from ‘beg to differ’ to ‘direct attack’,” says Dr John.
Booming social media usage is one reason, he notes. “Social media has now become an avenue to express one’s opinion in an uninhibited way. Insults, lewd remarks, verbal abuse, etc, are examples. And in online communication, this is viewed as a way of getting back at the other person,” he explains.
“Unknowingly this form of expressing anger gradually gets into the physical world, too. Our way of handling a negative state has become corrupted due to the online medium.”
Dr Arun B Nair, consultant psychiatrist at Medical College Thiruvananthapuram, concurs. “In general, society is facing intolerance and impatience. Disagreements happen without respect for the other,” he notes.
“Anger issues have been on the rise over the past three years. Usage of digital devices shot up and, as a result, impulsivity or acting without thinking of the consequences rose.”
‘Work pressure’
According to Dr Arun, the marked rise in anger issues is in the 15-40 age group. “Workplace is a common source of anger. I recently came across a case of a 24-year-old man, who was competent and had an excellent academic track record. However, he faced anger issues at the workplace and walked out on multiple instances,” he says.
“Earlier, when communication was largely online, any form of disagreement was conveyed via mail. In a physical team set-up, disagreements led to frequent anger episodes.”
Work-related stress often transforms into outbursts with friends and spouses, notes Dr John. “These have been cases of people taking out pent-up anger due to work stress on loved ones. This has led to relationships breaking up, people going into depression,” he says.
“Not getting due merit and appreciation adds to the frustration. Also, many organisations don’t have mechanisms to help employees de-stress.”
‘Women more vulnerable’
Self-harm is one dangerous outcome of rage. “Cuts on arms and thighs are expressions of anger for some,” says Dr John. “Self-harm is done mostly by women. The majority of the actions aren’t suicidal, though. I have come across situations where women injured themselves with non-lethal cuts on the body. Some people seek to derive a sense of calm from this type of self-harm. That ‘calmness’ drives them to do the same when triggered. This is unhealthy and dangerous.”
Dr Arun highlights the issue of an “imbalanced work-life scenario”. “Especially among women who have to take care of the household chores and office work, and do not get support from their husbands. They take out rage either on their spouse or the kids.”
‘Sleep deprivation’
During adolescence, many get into interpersonal relationships. During this phase, people expect the partner to ‘obey’. This could lead to body shaming, verbal and physical attacks, etc. “Recently there was a case where a 21-year-old college student asked his girlfriend to not wear a particular type of clothing. She refused to pay heed, and he tried to harm her. If his friends had not interfered, things would have gone out of hand,” says Dr Arun.
“The guy would be online till 4am and go to college by 7am. His problem was sleep deprivation. Also, over usage of gadgets disrupts the coordination of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, and sleep deprivation precipitates mood instability. These lead to increased anger outbursts, which are seen commonly among youngsters today.”
Childhood tantrums
Children don’t have a well-developed mental framework of how things work, so any trivial misstep could lead them to throw tantrums. “Many children direct their anger towards their parents, especially when they are restricted from doing something,” says Dr John.
“Also, unhappy situations at home and parents prone to outbursts can make the child anger-prone as well. I recently had a case of an 11-year-old boy who would destroy things in his mother’s garden. If not managed effectively, the boy could eventually hit his mother or spouse in the future.”
There are, in fact, parents who are scared of getting attacked by children, he adds. “Recently, there was a case where a 14-year-old boy assaulted his father, who asked him to keep his gadget away.”
Dr John adds that it should be made clear to children at a young age that none of their tantrums would work. “Never pay attention to their tantrums. If they think they are getting an audience, their tendency to throw tantrums will only increase,” he says. “This may become part of their basic nature.”