The practice of dowry, illegal but ubiquitous in India, has returned to the headlines after the horrifying visuals of a Noida woman on fire flooded social media and TV channels.
Six decades after the law against it was passed, dowry continues to burden families, permits society to look down on half its population, and to see baby girls not as beings full of potential but as embodiments of future debt.
Modernity and the internet, worryingly, seem to have enhanced rather than erased its value: many social media posts show bridegrooms or in-laws flaunting the ‘gifts’ received or given, marking both the value of the groom and the prosperity of the bride’s family. With these new pressures, how does a family refuse dowry without feeling judged for their finances?
In these circumstances, how is a woman meant to toss aside money spent— or sacrificed—‘on her’ and walk out of an abusive marriage? And if she does walk out, does she receive support from her family and society or scorn?
These are questions to ponder as we wonder why this evil persists in bedevilling society. By now, it is clear that banning a practice is barely the beginning of its end. To uproot it entirely, it needs to be robbed of its power—it ought not be viewed as a symbol of status but as a matter of shame, and pop culture should reflect this.
For this, education and empowerment should replace marriage as parents’ main duty towards their daughters. When women are supported in this way, they are more likely to put their happiness first and leave abusive marriages, even if it means facing public scrutiny.
Tamil Nadu was recently shaken by the news of an educated young woman named Rithanya who ended her life due to the alleged abuse and pressure of her husband and in-laws over dowry. She left voice notes for her father, apologising and saying she saw no other way out. Her shattered parents now seek justice for her death.
Society needs to learn that marriage is not a woman’s sole purpose in life and open its arms to those who turn away from the institution or are turned away from it, so that avoiding dowry or leaving an abusive relationship is always an option.