I am a final-year engineering student. I am in love with my cousin and we were in a strong relationship. Due to certain activities of hers my faith in our relationship has come down. When I spoke to her about this she got depressed and cried. She promised that she is very sincere and truthful. At that moment I believed her. But after a few hours my thoughts began to revolve around her and the doubtful circumstances. I cannot concentrate on anything else. I often get irritated and am not able to shake off those wrong assumptions. Should I seek psychiatric help or are there any practices that can change my mind? I want to clear my mind of these thoughts and trust her completely. I need your help. I have high dreams of uplifting my middle class family. I am studious and was a class topper. I do not want to lose my concentration due to these problems.
My sincere advice to you is to first focus on your studies. All these problems can wait till your exams are over. In any relationship remember that trust is the basic requirement for both partners. The moment it is gone then it can become a devastating experience. So please base your beliefs on facts. Suspecting an innocent person can kill the relationship.At the same time being naive to someone cheating on you can be very foolish. So verify the validity of your thoughts and then decide on your future.
I am a second-year commerce student. Am getting very distracted while studying. One look at the vast portions and I lose interest. I get distracted. I am finding it difficult to cope. Please help me handle this.
The most important thing is to plan your studies effectively. Write down a time table dividing your study time between the most important subjects. Always start with the ones that you don’t know much. Take notes. Constantly revise the notes. The secret to performing well in exams is repetition and revision of the subjects at least three times before the exams. Most exams test our recall capacity. The more you are able to recall, the better you will perform in the exam. Students avoid revising subjects and leave it to the end thinking it will hinder their studies. Your memory does not retain more than eighty per cent of what you have studied beyond 48 hours unless you revise it. So revision is the real key to success in exams.
Dr Kannan Gireesh is a consultant psychiatrist, psychotherapist and counsellor. He lives in Chennai. Students can SMS their queries to (0) 98414 16422 or send an email to queries.edex@newindianexpress.com