My son is a student of Class XI (non-medical stream). Of late he has started worrying about not being able to keep up with the class. His confidence level has also reduced. He does not want to go school and due to this guilt he feels that everyone is talking about him. I am afraid he is suffering from anxiety neurosis. What is the best way to make him come out of this state of mind? How can I help my son cope with the pressures of higher studies? Please advise.
Your child is undergoing a phase of severe anxiety crisis and lack of confidence. There is a sudden jump in difficulty level of courses from class X to XI. Children who have been high achievers at the junior levels often find this sudden jump difficult to cope with. He needs to get some professional help for his anxiety. A psychiatrist or psychologist can help. As a parent you can take the following steps to help him: Get him regular professional counselling by the school counsellor, listen to the child and acknowledge his fears rather than criticising him, arrange for tuition classes, do not compare him with other children, discuss the problem with his school teachers and keep the option of changing the course open, even at this late stage.
I have exam phobia. What do I do? I have not appeared for Class XII exams for two years due to this phobia. I missed those two years and now, this is creating an inferiority complex. I feel like committing suicide. What should I do?
Passing a school exam is not the end of the world! I am sure you have some strong points. Try to focus and build on those. Remember that many great persons in history were not able to do well at school. It is also possible that you can do well, but are simply not appearing for the exam out of fear. The best option for you is to get professional help as soon as possible. Try to contact a school counsellor, or a psychologist or even a helpline. It is possible to reduce or even remove the fear by proper counselling and psychotherapy. It is not your fault and many people are prone to such fears. Get emotional support from your parents and friends.
I am a third-year engineering student. I used to score 85-90 per cent in Class X and XII, but somehow after entering college I am not able to go beyond 70 per cent. I feel stressed at the time of examination. This problem was not there before. How can I overcome this?
You have accepted that you are suffering from stress and you are trying to pin point how it is affecting your studies. Is it more of a physical stress such as palpitation, coldness of hand or sweating or is it psychological? Most children complain when they become irritable, become a little defiant and hostile towards parents or even internalise their emotions. They tend to slow down, feel depressed and helpless at times. If you are able to identify these symptoms, I am sure you can make certain ground rules for your studies. For example, take breaks while studying. Students are now doing yoga and meditation at home during their study holidays.
What exactly is stress? How can the parents and children know that they are going through it? What are its symptoms?
We all agree that stress is inevitable, but our concern is largely focused on children who get into stress. Some indicators are lack of sleep, mood swings, indigestion, abdominal cramps and neck and back ache. The important part is that if these things are compounding and escalating, do feel comfortable to communicate or discuss them. Contact the school teacher or a counsellor or even a psychologist so that you have one or two guided counselling sessions. This will help you to organise your 24-hour rhythm better. Medicines should be strictly avoided. Indigestion problems can be handled with antacids, or painkillers occasionally, unless prescribed by a doctor. The child may not express stress, which builds up over a period of time. You need a special sense to detect stress from the child’s voice and his day-to-day behaviour. You can understand better if you meet a counsellor.
— Dr Kannan Gireesh is a Chennai-based consultant
psychiatrist, psychotherapist and counsellor. Students can SMS their queries to (0) 98414 16422 or send an email to queries.edex@newindianexpress.com