How to deal with difficult people

Vikram entered his office and got down to work when there was an email from his project lead. The email said that the same quality issue has recurred and it is going to be a real eyesore for all of them if the quality team does not respond to queries positively and sort out the matter. Vikram knew where the problem was — Ganesh, a team member.

Vikram felt Ganesh was not listening and was not able to work according to the requirements of the client. The team also felt that Ganesh knew what the client wants but took a different approach, which was not ideal for the situation. He continued to do as he pleased.

Vikram, who was the leader of a team of six and growing in the organisation, had to play it safe. He knew Ganesh was competent but not easy to get along. He would stick to his point and not listen so

Vikram began to operate with another team member.

Be objective

We need to be conscious of the fact that we cannot be bogged down by difficult people. We have to first view the idea and the issue objectively. Many times, we connect the idea to the individual whom we perceive as difficult and therefore we tend to have a tough situation.

Don’t succumb to stress

Sometimes we may not be successful even after discussing, explaining and interacting for length. We need to recognise that we are not in control of certain aspects of human behaviour and move ahead with an alternate plan as Vikram did.

Dealing with difficult people can cause extreme stress and this may just transcend into other relationships and cause disturbances in our daily routine. All relationships are valuable only if they help us to be in a progressive frame of mind. If relationships are stress-stimulants, then the best thing would be to move out, so that we can spend time with people who add more value to our lives. Maybe Vikram could ask Ganesh to be moved to another project or suggest to his management that he is not very keen to work with Ganesh.

We have to develop the wisdom to identify situations we can and can’t control. If people are found to be increasingly difficult, we can try reasoning it out with them once, twice or even thrice. But if they continue to  stress us, we have to use our judgement and stay away or find another path to move on.

— kalpana@acl-india.in

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