I am a Class XII student. Due to my friends and movies I watch with them, I always think of sex. I think I am going in the wrong direction. Please guide me.
You are motivated to change
I would like to affirm to you that there is no such thing as a “wrong direction” as long as you are willing to learn from your experience and make necessary corrections quickly. The effort you have made to ask this question shows me your motivation to change. Let’s explore your situation together.
Your sentence “due to my friends and movies I watch with them, I always think of sex”. First step to change is taking responsibility for your action. Hence, without making your friends responsible for what is happening, state “I am thinking of sex out of my choice.” The next generalisation you are making is, “I am ‘always’ thinking of sex. Is it always? Are there moments when you are not thinking of sex? Finding moments when you are thinking differently will help you believe that “you are not always thinking of sex”.
The next part of your question is, “I think I am in the wrong direction”. I sense you may be feeling guilty about your act. I would like to give you some information. In this development phase of your life, it is natural to get curious about your sexuality and the opposite sex. And this can be understood by exploring this question, “Who am I as a boy in this world and what do girls mean to me?” This exploration will help you to know yourself and understand your sexuality.
Find another connection
I also sense that watching movies is a connecting point for you with your friends. You may fear that if you stop watching these movies you may lose the friendship. If you are not investing time in watching these sex movies what else will you be doing? Find that answer and similarly explore with your friends what else they would like to do other than watch these movies.
Gradually start building a new connecting point between friends. In this way, you can handle peer pressure and also build new friendships over a period of time. All the best!
A Geethan is a Chennai-based psychotherapist and organisational consultant. He is the founder-director of Nibbana (Visit www.nibbanaindia.com). You can send in your queries to queries.edex@newindianexpress.com.