Anger is that acid which does more harm to the vessel in which it is stored than the vessel to which it is poured.Anger is an emotion which all of us encounter at some point of time or the other. It’s perfectly normal to be angry, and justified to express it, but if it becomes a frequent habit or starts affecting relationships and work, it needs to be checked. The following guidelines can help us determine its limit and draw borders.
Explore the cause of anger:
It is very important to investigate and find out the exact cause of anger. Sometimes anger is just a mask for other feelings like embarrassment, shame, hurt, insecurity, vulnerability and guilt. Childhood in an atmosphere where expressing feelings was not permitted can lead to an adulthood of short temper and frustration. Get to the root cause to avoid unnecessary outburst of emotions.
Develop awareness about anger signs and triggers:
There are certain bodily symptoms which signify the onset of anger, like knots in the stomach, clenching hands or jaw, fast-breathing, headaches, feeling clammy or flushed, pacing up and down, having concentration problems, a pounding heart, seeing red, and tensing shoulders. Once diagnosed, be on self guard, and attempt to control.
Identify negative thought patterns that cause anger:
Often, it’s the negativity in the mind which plays foul, and drives one crazy. Feelings of depression, over generalising, obsession of should and musts, mind-reading and jumping to conclusions, collecting straws, playing the blame game are some inhibitors of the mind which provoke an outburst.
Avoid people, places and situations that cause anger:
When the origin and cause of anger becomes evident as a situation, or place or some people, it’s advisable to adopt precautionary measures and stay away from such sources. Identification of a provoking factor in the daily routine and its subsequent avoidance can prevent blood boiling situations.
Learn and adopt ways to cool down: Once the signs and sources have been identified adopt steps to cool down, before it crosses the threshold. Tune the body to lessen the intensity of anger. Take slow deep breaths from the abdomen to counteract the rising tension and feel relaxed. A brisk walk around the block also helps relax, enabling a cooler approach to the situation.
Use your senses:
Try listening to good music, and visualising yourself in your favourite place to divert your anger, and relax your mind. Stretch yourself and even massage the tensed parts of the body, like shoulders to bring a cooling effect. Repeated slow counting of numbers from one to ten works magically in bringing down the flare.
The moment you start feeling upset, ask yourself; is it worth the importance? Is it worth getting annoyed at? Is it worth the time and attention? Is it worth spoiling my day? Can I do anything? Once you get your answers adopt strategies accordingly.
Find better ways to react:
If you find the situation really provocative, try better ways to express your anger. Express the exact reason for you being upset, with justified arguments in a healthy calm tone to bring out the best results. Positive approach to the problem can channelise anger and work miraculously to solve issues.