Imagine finding your passion out of restlessness. Aattam actor Zarin Shihab’s father’s Indian Air Force job meant the family had to move around constantly; from Uttar Pradesh to Assam to Karnataka. Constant shuttling meant not having long-standing friendships. Zarin’s only company was her twin sister, Nazrin Shihab. Although the twins were inseparable, they made a pact to part ways for graduation. Why?
“We wanted a separate identity,” says Zarin, who enrolled in IIT Madras for a five-year-long integrated program in MA English. Staying away from her sister for the first time, Zarin found it hard to adapt and became restless. She eventually found peace after a random-but-successful audition at the inter-college arts festival. “Initially, acting was just an outlet from all my restlessness and boredom. But before I knew it, it became my passion and soon, purpose. I got serious about it when I realised I could make money out of it and be happy at the same time.”
After a few years of gaining theatre experience, Zarin made her entry to the film industry with Prime Video’s hit show, The Family Man, in which she played the role of a Malayali nurse. “I attended the auditions without knowing it was headlined by Manoj Bajpayee, and backed by Prime Video. Thankfully, it turned out to be a great launch.” Zarin did three more projects, Rashmi Rocket, Jugaadistan and India Lockdown, before realising that the stereotyping bug had caught her.
“All the four projects I did in Mumbai had me playing South Indian characters. They didn’t even allow me to audition for any other role. Also, the competition there is insane. Beyond talent, several other factors like looks and relationships with industry people are crucial to getting you a part,” says the Kollam native, who is glad that the Malayalam film industry has offered her a variety of roles.
Zarin’s Malayalam debut came with the rom-com Thrishanku, in which she played a naive young girl who elopes with the wrong person. The actor then made heads turn at the festival circuits with the State government-backed B 32 Muthal 44 Vere and Aattam. Both the films had her playing characters who endure workplace harassment, albeit of different kinds. “Many asked me if it was a conscious decision to take up such intense, socially relevant films. But the truth is, only these two projects materialised among the several others I applied for. That was a phase when I was applying for casting calls randomly.”
Similar to The Family Man, Zarin says she didn’t know anything about Aattam while auditioning for it. “From what I heard, there were about 200 entries for the female character from which five, including me, were shortlisted. For the final auditions, I wasn’t given a scene from Aattam’s script. It was some random scene that director Anand (Ekarshi) had written to explore the dynamic between the lead characters, Vinay and Anjali. Naturally, I assumed it to be a romantic film, but it was only after I got confirmed that I came to know it’s a completely unrelated subject.”
Aattam is about a bunch of theatre artists, who find themselves in a spot of bother when one among the 12 men molests the sole woman in the group. Anand skillfully layers the film as a whodunnit, chamber drama and a social commentary on male hypocrisy.
Recalling her first reactions after the narration, Zarin says, “I was called for costume trials and in the middle of it, Anand casually snuck in that I was the film’s protagonist. He explained how Anjali is the heart and soul of the film, and about the incredible responsibility on me to make the audience empathise with her. It was quite intimidating because, on the surface, she appears to be a very normal person—an architect who also does theatre. But she’s also in a relationship with a married man. Anand wanted me to think how I, as a person, would approach someone like Anjali. Will I judge her or empathise? That was the starting point from which I began exploring the character.”
Apart from the compelling narrative and her character’s scope for performance, what drew Zarin towards Aattam was the ‘theatre connect’ in it. The film’s director Anand and the cast members, except Kalabhavan Shajohn, all had a theatre background, which made Zarin “feel at home”. However, there were some challenges, explains the actor. “We had a 30-day long rehearsal camp prior to the shoot, of which a week was entirely dedicated for me (laughs). While all the others were trained in classic Malayalam theatre, I was used to doing contemporary English theatre, where we employed a completely different body language and stage grammar. This shift was a bit difficult for me, but I could adapt quickly thanks to the support from the other actors.”
Heaping praise on Anand, whom she calls a ‘powerhouse of talent’, Zarin adds, “I’ve never seen a director who’s so involved in a project but also knows how to be detached from it. He knew he had put in his best of efforts and left the rest to the audience. He operates with that awareness, which is very admirable. Even while filming, he had absolute clarity on what he wanted. Because it’s a dialogue-heavy film, we had only minimal room to improvise with the lines. But while performing, the actors were encouraged to bring their input. I was also in awe of how he seamlessly incorporated theatrical devices in cinematic storytelling.”
Because of the ‘award padam’ label, it’s generally rare for Malayalam films to do well in theatre post-festival screenings. However, Aattam has been an exception with the highly positive word of mouth working in its favour. “The response from the film festival audience was more controlled. You can’t really evaluate a film’s commercial viability based on that. We first sensed hope on seeing the thunderous response from our home audience at the IFFK.
What we now see in theatres is an extension of that,” says an overwhelmed Zarin, while also sharing the most touching feedback she got so far. “After the show, a woman came up to me and said, ‘I usually don’t watch films that focus on sexual assault because it’s too triggering. This is the first film where I wasn’t bothered with the personal discomfort because I was too curious to know where the story was heading.’ I was moved when she said that.”
Kicking off 2024 on the best possible note, Zarin is now planning to be more judicious of her choices. The actor, who is currently part of Ithiri Neram with Roshan Mathew and Krishand’s Sambhavavivaranam Nalara Sangham, has already chalked out a plan. “While picking projects, I should either feel the creative fulfilment or get commercial benefits out of it. It’s not always practical to expect creative satisfaction, so there should be some other factors like good money or wide exposure to excite me. Even if nothing falls in place, I’ll always be grateful to the people who consider me for their films. I feel it’s a validation for finding the right passion.”