BENGALURU: Ahead of Mother’s Day on Sunday, the latest National Health Survey - 5 conducted between 2019-21 shows that in Karnataka, at least 5 per cent of children live with single mothers although their father is alive, and another 3.6 per cent children live with widowed mothers.
These single mothers say that their kids fulfil their lives amid the challenges and emphasised that it is possible to manage the responsibilities single-handedly. Anarghya (name changed), a single mother to an 11-year-old daughter said, “My dreams and life were shattered when my husband was found having an affair with his colleague and I divorced him six years ago. My daughter then became my world. With the support of parents, proper planning, work from home option, I was able to achieve a perfect balance between career and looking after my child. And I have been able to take care of her education and health. But with lack of financial back up and the responsibility of a child, I have to work,” she said.
“After my husband deserted me, I had to leave my child at my sister’s home, and later in a hostel since I had nobody at home to take care of her when I went to work at a juice factory. I am contend now that my 26-year-old daughter is a teacher and is married,” Nethra (name changed), a single mother, said.
Shwetha, another single mother to a 12-year-old son, said, “After my husband died suddenly due to hypertension and brain hemorrhage, I have able to completely focus on my son since there was a financial backup.” Acid attack survivor, Dr Mahalakshmi YN, said, “I was 30 years old when I battled the acid attack and my daughter, who was four years old, was my ray of hope.
With a job, support of parents, besides challenges I faced, I could nourish my daughter well. My daughter has now completed her post-graduation and is trying to clear the civil service exams. Everything is possible by staying strong with a positive attitude,” she said.
According to Dr Pallavi Joshi, consultant - Psychiatrist, Manipal hospital Varthur Road, Bengaluru, many of these single mothers tend to face anxieties and insecurities as they handle all responsibilities single handedly. What if something happens to me? is a typical question in their mind, so they tend to be extra cautious with regard to them and kid too, she said.
Behind a self-reliant autistic son is a gutsy mother
BENGALURU: A former radio jockey, Snigdha, is a single mother to a 25-year-old son, who suffers from autism.
She has not only taken care of her son who was diagnosed with Autism 22 years ago, but has also made him self-dependent. Since 2015, 51-year-old Snigdha has launched campaigns to support, guide parents like her in understanding the issue.
Her efforts is also aimed at creating awareness among the public to promote acceptance and inclusion of such kids in society.
When Nimhans diagnosed her son with autism, she quit her job with the Taj Group, and had to take her son for therapies.
However, no schools were ready to enrol him, and she had to send him to a special school by paying at least 30 per cent extra. Amid these impediments, she was battling family issues, and soon became a single mother.
She was unable to work full-time but had to do parttime jobs, freelancing to meet her financial needs.
Now, her son, who is in a vocational training centre, can manage his basic needs.
According to Dr Mitesh Shetty, Hod and consultant at Medical Genetics, Manipal hospital old airport road, Autism is a neurodevelopmental disorder affecting social and communication skill with restricted or repetitive behaviours, caused due to genetic, epigenetic (factors that affect gene expression and activity) and environmental influences.
Some of the risk factors include advanced parental age (either parent) due to late marriages by career-oriented couple and other reasons, leading to pregnancy and birth complications like prematurity, teratogen(drug) exposure.
The incidence of the problem has almost tripled since two decades.
This increased incidence may be attributable to several reasons including broadening in the diagnostic criteria as Autism is a spectrum disorder which includes several conditions that used to be diagnosed separately such as autistic disorder, pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified and Asperger syndrome.
Also since recognition of Autism in children who were wrongly diagnosed earlier as intellectual disability. And even due to increased public awareness of the disorder and its symptoms and better screening and diagnostic tools, he said.
Speaking on the challenges of raising a child with autism he said, "it might affect parents especially Mother physically as managing the special and extra needs of the child can lead to lack of time for self care. Also it can be emotionally draining due to social stigmatization, and it poses financial challenges since treatment is not covered under insurance. They require substantial medical and community resources," Dr Mitesh said.