VIJAYAPURA: Infected with HIV by birth, the life of 24-year-old Rashmi (name changed) was a struggle as she had to carry the fear of social stigma. Today, she is leading a happy life, married to Neelakanth (29), who is also HIV-infected and works as a security guard. The couple is profoundly grateful to Ravi Kittur, a counsellor, for helping them find each other.
A resident of Vijayapura city, Rashmi narrated the ordeal she faced before marriage. She lost her parents at an early age and had to depend on relatives for shelter. But later, she got admitted to a government hostel and continued her studies. Having completed B.Sc Nursing, she finally became self-reliant, working as a nursing staffer in a private hospital.
“It is no fault of mine. I got HIV because of my parents, yet my relatives never understood it,” she said in anguish. One of the primary reasons she decided to marry was because she wanted to show her family, who had ill-treated her, that she too could lead a normal life.
The story of her husband Neelakanth (name changed) is no different. Hailing from Bagalkot district, he wanted to marry only an HIV-infected girl. “Many HIV-infected men, due to fear of social stigma, don’t reveal their infection and marry normal women. After marriage, the wives get HIV infection,” he said. Neelakanth said he didn’t want to spoil another life.
In search of a life partner, he ended up finding Rashmi through Ravi Kittur. The couple has a two-year-old son who is normal, as Rashmi began taking treatment when she was pregnant, to ensure the baby remains unaffected by the virus.
Rashmi and Neelakanth are among 56 HIV/AIDS-infected couples who are married with the help of Kittur, who works as a counsellor at the Anti-Retroviral Therapy (ART) centre of the District Government Hospital.
A mission begins
Way back in 2008, an incident motivated Kittur to take the initiative to turn matchmaker for HIV-infected people. “While counselling infected patients, I realised that many bachelors craved marriage, but are unable to marry. I also understood the urgent need to address this problem. Else, there is the fear that infected persons, to satisfy their sexual desires, may engage in physical contact with others and spread the infection to normal people,” he said.
Kittur started helping HIV-infected persons find suitable partners. Having previously worked among sex workers to prevent HIV/AIDS, finding potential brides and grooms became easy.
“I started collecting details of HIV-infected persons who are interested in marriage. I also educated them about the importance of marrying HIV-positive partners. Finally, my efforts started yielding results as I began matching potential couples. It was in 2008 that the first marriage of an HIV couple was performed,” he said.
Since then, there was no looking back as he kept receiving requests from many infected persons and it became a serious activity. A jubilant Kittur claimed that at least 28 such couples now have healthy children.
He said that a majority of couples are ready for inter-caste marriages as they are aware they may not get a partner from the same community. “But in some cases, either the infected man or woman or their family members insist on finding a partner from the same community. That is when I face difficulty as it’s not easy to fulfil such conditions. I try to convince them about the practical difficulty and marry a person from a different community,” he said.
Besides finding potential partners, Kittur also attempts to dispel myths related to HIV/AIDS, like the fear that infection level increases. With medication, a couple can lead a normal and happy married life, he tells them. “Many couples often ask whether they can have a normal sexual life and normal children. I tell them they can not only can have normal sexual life but also bear healthy and uninfected children, provided they take advice from the doctor and medication,” Kittur said.
Matrimonial meets across state
After launching the initiative at a personal level, Karnataka State AIDS Prevention Society (KSAPS) joined hands with him to take the initiative to the next level, by organising matrimonial meets across the state. “When people came to know about my efforts, gradually KSAPS was inspired to hold matrimonial meets, where it invited people from different places to find suitable partners,” Kittur said. The efforts gained so much popularity that according to him, KSAPS now has a list of over 4,000 infected people who are seeking partners. Kittur said that each marriage gives him divine satisfaction. “I feel so proud when a couple informs me that they have named their son after me,” he said, with a sense of well-deserved satisfaction.