VILLUPURAM: The sun had already dipped below an obscure horizon and the dim streetlights were flickering in the narrow lanes of Villupuram when K Vadivelu, a man in his 40s, was galloping the roads anxiously to find his child, a trans person. After a dreadful search, he finally found her at the house of a trans woman in the area. With sheer happiness of finding his lost child, Vadivelu decided to drop all his doubts about his child’s sexuality and call her ‘daughter’ forever, making it the first and last incident where V Ishwarya had to run away from her house.
Amid endless poignant tales of trans people who were abandoned or abused by their own families, these Villupuram parents are an oasis of hope. With their unwavering support, their 19-year-old daughter has turned pages of a new chapter in her life by joining BSc Nursing at a nearby institute.
“I realised a change in my gender behaviour at a very young age of 10. But when I told this to my parents, they thought it was nothing permanent and was just a phase in my life. But soon I was able to articulate my gender identity to my supportive parents, who to my surprise, were supportive. My mother V Saiamma, hails from Mumbai, a city that accepts and celebrates trans people, and this helped my parents understand my transition better,” says Ishwarya.
But her life was never a complete cakewalk. When she was 15 years old, her parents took her to a psychiatrist to find out what exactly was happening with Ishwarya. Though her parents did this with good intentions, she started fearing what would be her father’s reaction to her complete change, forcing her to run away and find solace in a transgender community. “When my father spotted me, he assured that he would take good care of me, and promised to never stop me if I ever wanted to run away again, which gladly is never going to happen. Now, my parents are everything to me,” says Ishwarya.
The parents stood by her side and Ishwarya underwent gender-affirming hormone therapy at the age of 16. “I was at home for six months and during that period, my mom urged me to pursue higher education to lead a dignified life with a respectable career,” she recalls. Later she enrolled for BSc Nursing program and stands as a beacon of hope for the transgender community.
“I am determined to prove that anyone, regardless of gender identity, can contribute to the society. Pursuing nursing is not just a personal dream, but is a statement that transgender community is an integral part of society, capable of excelling in diverse fields,” she says.
The private institute where she pursues her BSc in nursing has also ensured a safe and inclusive environment. “All my teachers, including the principal, are gentle and kind towards me. There treat all students equal,” she says, adding, “Members of our community are often pushed to do menial jobs. They do it due to a lack of access to a dignified life.
Expressing happiness over her achievement, Grace Banu, a trans woman and human rights activist from Chennai remarked, “Ishwarya should continue her academic journey to become an inspiration for countless others who might be facing similar challenges. Her parents need to be appreciated for their understanding and support.”
(Edited by Adarsh TR)