KOCHI: Long since I have been searching for my roots and wondering why I have many confusions, thought processes and unending quest for the being. Delighted at times I feel light and smell the reason for my existence and soon driven by the whirlwind of time that wasn’t right. It’s being a routine. Some sleepless night anchored me in some soothing confessions and ready to accept my failures.
Soon sickness crippled my process of search. It’s become an unusal thing to prolong the rest and waiting for some miracle to happen. At one time I realised that pain is psychological and ready to set out with the sickness and fight boldly to face the challenges and stand strong. That day I started to pen down the reality and the dream which has a constant gap and it can be filled by the constant effort we put whether we are sick or healthy. My failures can be listed long and all have become obsolete with time and this insisted me to get along.
At times the intensity of pain and the happiness are equated equally because in both we forget ourselves and start thinking about the origin of happiness or pain. It’s our mind to make a sense of being even when we never identified ourselves with the society or universe. The journey is not a real one but we hastened for the travel with uneasiness and unpreparedness. Eventually there are regrets and groaning for the missed options and the passed choices.
Messing up our life unconsciously and setting it right consciously is the usual formula for all living soul. In the process of rescuing, we are trapped into another trap that is sickness. For that the medicine is normal living in brief you have to observe your breath, do yoga, exercise and walk. Likewise there are many normal practices, which we have skipped in pursuing our goals. Now our objective has become to live life without medication.
Happiness is both the medicine and pain. Happiest thing you ever get is the painful efforts of yourself. Comparing the pain and the happiness cannot be a sensible topic to deal with. But it made me to ponder deeply into thoughts. The world is not a wish granting factory. From childhood we are made to believe that life will be good in future ignoring the present. Our elders encouraged us that time will heal all our wounds and give us more happiness and to be positive though we fail in our present attempt, we should not give up. But we have taken it differently.
Live in the moment… happy or painful. Realise that the struggle we undergo are all preparing us to get what we yearned for. Don’t wait for the miracle to happen on its own. Believe strongly, our efforts will do more miracles than you expect. Go ahead… Now we appreciate the spirit of life is not elsewhere but is in living.
The views expressed by the author are her own.
The author is the Assistant Prof. of Department of English, Nehru Arts and Science College, Coimbatore.