For over two decades she dithered. But finally, Ma Anand Sheela, who was once the personal secretary of cult figure Rajneesh aka Osho, has come out with the story of her years with the ‘Bhagwan.’ In her tell-all memoir Don’t Kill Him, Sheela narrates the life in commune headed by Rajneesh, controversies, behind-the-scene battles in the ashram and her ouster from the community. “After my departure from the commune and imprisonment, when I settled in Switzerland, my father wanted me to write about my life. He felt that my story can help many people. To fulfil my father’s wish before his death I wrote this book in German, in 1996. In 2010, a German sannyasin wanted to translate this book into English as she felt it is important for the world to know my side of the story,” says Sheela who spent five years with Rajneesh and the followers, organising the cult.
How it all began? Sheela, 62, recalls that she was introduced to Rajneesh by her parents at the age of 18, just before she left Baroda for the United States to attend university. In 1972 she returned to India. “Upon my return I met Bhagwan and fell in love with him. I worked in his ashram just to be near him. I became an assistant of his personal secretary. In 1980, he declared me his personal secretary,” says Sheela. And so Rajneesh — who was born Chandra Mohan Jain — became her mentor. She was joined by her husband and father in this journey.
Rajneesh advocated freedom from guilt concerning sexuality. He followed the ancient Tantrist tradition in India that united sexuality and spiritual enlightenment. He presented his thoughts and ideas in “interesting ways which appealed to intellectuals.” These intellectuals were “ready to try out something new from their average life, religion, etc.” Rajneesh “fulfilled their need.” The inhibition-free intellect got embellished by other materialistic pleasures. Rajneesh reportedly owned a large collection of expensive cars and believed in the display of wealth. She recalls how Rajneesh wanted her to get him 30 new Rolls-Royces within one month.
At that time he already had 96 brand new Rolls-Royces. “He always liked good and expensive cars, and certainly he must have enjoyed the anger and envy that his possession had aroused in so many people,” believes Sheela. Not surprisingly, Rajnessh had enough business acumen to raise funds from his brand of spirituality. Recalling her split with the man she claims that she had been a victim of Bhagwan’s anger, revenge and Oregon politics. But not a victim of brainwashing. On July 10, 1981, she had purchased the 64,000-acre Big Muddy Ranch to create the Rajneeshpuram commune in Oregon. “I was given the task of protecting him, taking care of his vision and building his dream of an international commune.
But working under Bhagwan’s guidance I became an internationally controversial figure. So, I decided to leave him in 1985. My departure made him very angry and he accused me of many crimes. The US government arrested me for assault, attempted murder and immigration fraud, and I spent 39 month in the US prison,” Sheela says about the tribulations she faced.
Today, Sheela lives a content life. After her years in a US jail, Sheela began caring for the elderly people in Switzerland. In a small village called Maisprach, near Zurich, Sheela and her staff tend to 22 mentally-disabled people across age groups, besides 12 other patients in a nearby village. But amid all of this, she takes time off to take the memory route.
