Priyanka Mattoo’s Bird Milk and Mosquito Bones is a heartfelt memoir that intertwines themes of identity, displacement and resilience. Through intimate storytelling, Mattoo offers a nuanced perspective on the complexities of growing up as a displaced Kashmiri Hindu, the impact of cultural heritage and family, and the longing for a homeland lost to conflict. Her motivation for this book was rooted in a desire to portray her community beyond the narratives of tragedy that often dominate discussions on Kashmir.
The memoir highlights idyllic memories of Mattoo’s childhood in Kashmir during the early 1980s—a time filled with laughter, family gatherings, and the breathtaking beauty of her homeland. Her parents moved abroad in search of work opportunities, intending to save money to build their dream home back in Kashmir. Despite relocating, they remained deeply connected to their roots, spending every summer, and holidays in Kashmir.
Throughout their travels, the family carefully collected decorative items for their future home, such as porcelain and hand-embroidered linens. This practice lends the book its unique title. Mattoo explains, “There is a Kashmiri phrase, chhari daud te mahe adij—bird milk and mosquito bones— used when someone is describing things so rare and precious that the listener should question their very existence. It comes to mind whenever
I think about that little treasury of items we gathered.” The book’s cover design—with its striking colours and visual patterns—suggests a blend of tradition and modernity.
The insurgency in Kashmir during the winter of 1989-1990, fueled by political disillusionment, ethnic and religious tensions, and militant groups often supported by Pakistan, shattered Mattoo’s childhood. Her family was forced to flee, marking the beginning of a lifelong journey of searching for a place to call home.
The memoir is filled with memories of the people and places that have shaped Mattoo, from her affectionate grandmothers to her thunderous Nanaji, each character adding depth to her narrative. Through her lucid, conversational style, she organically introduces socio-political issues ranging from challenging gender roles to financial hardships. She writes, “In cataloguing Kashmiri compliments for women, I grew up hoping to be tez (sharp), thrat hish (like a thunderclap), zahar hish (like poison), toofan hish (like a storm), an overall patakuh (firecracker). Even my great-grandmother valued a woman’s ‘indy-pindy’ above all. Nary a mention of nice, gentle or kind. Those traits were not necessary for survival.”
The memoir also delves into the complexities of Mattoo’s cultural heritage, particularly the challenges of navigating life as part of the Indian diaspora. She reflects on the tension between her privileged upbringing and the weight of her cultural identity, offering insights into the struggles those displaced from their homeland face.
Mattoo explores the intricacies of her parents’ arranged marriage and the impact of her family’s displacement on her own relationships. Ultimately, she finds love in her Jewish husband, embracing a new cultural blend in her personal life. She mentions that their children will begin bar and bat mitzvah preparations as they grow older, in accordance with their Jewish heritage. Meanwhile, she does her part by cooking Kashmiri food, celebrating their holidays and maintaining their traditional attire.
Bird Milk And Mosquito Bones is a deeply personal love letter to Mattoo’s community. Although, there are moments when the narrative feels emotionally distant, making it difficult for the reader to connect with her experiences fully. Despite this, Mattoo’s prose occasionally captures the beauty of her homeland and the emotions that come with its loss.
The book is, however, more than just a memoir of a displaced Kashmiri; it is a meditation on the complexities of living a life shaped by introspection as she learns to embrace her identity as a writer. The personal approach though, sometimes renders the text disjointed since it lacks lived experiences of the more recent changes and realities in Kashmir post-2000. Nevertheless, she effortlessly captures the subtle nuances of human experience, shaped by the landscapes of her past, and that is what makes this memoir a powerful exploration of the search for authenticity in a world that often demands conformity.
Bird Milk and Mosquito Bones
By: Priyanka Mattoo
Publisher: Penguin
Pages: 304
Price: Rs 699