Spiritual memoirs tend to demand a certain accommodation from their readers: one must be prepared to entertain experiences that cannot readily be explained, without necessarily accepting the explanations offered. AU Singh Deo’s By the Grace of My Guru has a similar mystique. Its subject is a life transformed by Swami Sri Sri Sri Shivabalayogi Maharaj, whose influence takes the author from the pleasant distractions of privilege into the demanding disciplines of meditation, and spiritual enquiry. Along the way come visions, extraordinary dreams and encounters that Singh Deo understands as evidence of realities beyond ordinary perception.
The story begins with the writer’s lack of appetite for spiritual discovery. Singh Deo visits Swamiji at his father’s insistence, hardly anticipating that the encounter will redirect his life. His experience of bhava samadhi spending six months in the ashram, provides the narrative with its decisive turn of the young man’s worldly preoccupations giving way to prolonged meditation and a willingness to submit himself to his guru’s discipline. The transformation might have followed a familiar course, with renunciation presented as the inevitable reward of spiritual awakening. Instead, Swamiji complicates the arrangement. When Singh Deo wishes to stay back, the guru tells him to return to the world and discharge his material responsibilities. It is a small but revealing reversal of the usual trope: the test of discipleship is not necessarily the ability to walk away from ordinary life, but the capacity to return to it with a different understanding of obligations. The book acquires a further dimension nearly fifty years later, when Swamiji appears to the author in a dream reminding him to complete the memoir he asked Singh Deo to write. The distance between the young disciple and the older narrator gives the account its retrospective interest. Indeed, the book is most interesting when it allows experience and interpretation to remain distinct, rather than treating the former as unquestionable proof of the latter.
Some episodes tend to linger in the mind. A dream about luminous boy-beings at Sanur Beach leads Singh Deo to arrange for their moksha through a ritual associated with his mother’s ritual farewell, enfolding a private vision into the practical world of religious observance. His inward encounters with Lord Jagannatha similarly draw on the collaboration between personal experience and devotional tradition. Whether a reader accepts these incidents as supernatural encounters, psychological experiences or something less easily classified is immaterial, because they reveal the extent to which Singh Deo’s spiritual life has shaped his understanding of the world. The narrative does not always need to explain what the experiences mean; sometimes the account itself, and the response it provokes, is sufficient.
To his credit, the author does not turn every unexplained incident into a universal theory. His insistence that the book be read as a subjective autobiographical record is more than a defensive qualification. It allows him to describe experiences of considerable personal importance without demanding that readers surrender their own standards of judgment. Singh Deo’s restraint gives the manuscript a measure of credibility, even when the claims themselves are beyond independent verification. His conversations with Swamiji recorded in 1974 could have been given greater prominence since they provide a welcome counterweight to the accounts of private visions and altered states, and help establish why this particular teacher became so consequential in the author’s life. Extraordinary experiences require no apology for being extraordinary, but Singh Deo seems to have held himself back. However, these reservations do not obscure the book’s central achievement. By the Grace of My Guru records a relationship whose importance has endured across nearly half a century, while resisting the temptation to make certainty the price of spiritual enquiry. Its strongest passages are those in which the young disciple’s devotion coexists with the older narrator’s awareness that experience and explanation are not the same thing. That tension gives the memoir more substance than a simple catalogue of miraculous encounters, and makes it possible to read the book with interest without subscribing to all its assumptions.
AU Singh Deo speaks with Mohd Shehwaaz Khan about why we need a guru for our spiritual journey, and why youngsters need to meditate
What inspired you to write By the Grace of My Guru?
I was 21 when I met my guru. He asked me to note down his teachings but did not allow me to share them. In 2016, when I was a Member of Parliament, he appeared in my dreams and asked me to write a book. Between 2016 and 2026, I gathered all my notes and experiences to put this book together. I was hesitant at first because some of the experiences I share might be perceived as illogical by readers, and I had an established political career. But I have never said no to my guru. Now that I have retired from politics, I have finally decided to publish the book. It is my guru’s calling, so he will take care of it. I simply wanted to tell my story.
You emphasise that the book should not be treated as a guide. Why is that?
As a writer, I have shared what happened to me, but the same experiences may not happen to others. I cannot tell people how to think. They must read the book and interpret it in their own way. Spiritual journeys can take different paths, and what happened to me may not happen to others. Sceptics and believers may interpret the book differently. My hope is that it will be helpful to spiritual seekers.
How important is it to have a guru on a spiritual journey?
The first thing is, you cannot search for a guru; the guru searches for you. If you are serious about spirituality, the guru will always find you.
I believe it is very important to have a guru because he acts as a bridge between you and the celestial beings. A guru guides you through spiritual confusion and helps you find your way.
You write about how meditation initially felt like a performance to you. How did that change? Initially, I meditated for three to four minutes, which gradually increased to 10-15 minutes and eventually to two or three hours. I then asked my guru if I could reach a higher state of meditation. He asked me to meditate for 10 hours. I was quite shocked at first, but when I tried it, I experienced a stillness that made it difficult for me to move. Gradually, I began to enjoy this stillness.
How has spirituality influenced your public and political life?
The stillness you gain through meditation brings greater clarity to your thoughts. Your inner world begins to operate through frequencies and vibrations. We do not consciously use this in politics or business, but it works in its own way. Your thoughts begin to align with your actions and vision. The spiritual and the material worlds are two sides of the same coin.
What is one thing you hope young readers will take away from this book?
The biggest takeaway is that spirituality is not the prerogative of monks or sadhus. It is for every human being, especially young people. Spirituality and material life complement each other. You do not have to give up your material pursuits to be spiritual. Just take an hour out of your day to look within. It is important to understand oneself.