Once, a visitor scolded the Buddha, but the Buddha remained calm and finally asked him, "Have you finished? I have to go now because people in the next village are waiting for me." Upon hearing the Buddha, the visitor asked, "Are you not hurt that I scolded you?" The Buddha replied, "To hurt me, you should have met me before my enlightenment. That is no longer possible. Your words may be fiery, but my being is calm, and so they have no impact. It is like a hot arrow falling into a cold river losing its heat. Your words may be heated, but my presence is calm; hence, I am not hurt."
We get hurt because we think too much. This goes beyond the distinction between wise and unwise thinking—we are simply obsessed with thinking. It's like a whirlpool within. This creates an ache, which is why we often call it a headache. Once you think less and feel more, there will be a transformation from hurt to healing. Our thinking has gone so deep that it has polluted even our feelings. Therefore, it's essential to feel what is truly meaningful and let go of the unessential. Love is the essential feeling that one should have. Love brings connectedness while feelings like jealousy breed disconnection. Everyone wants to be connected, for disconnection leads to isolation.
Lead yourself from thinking to feeling, and then to being. When we fail to do this, we experience hurt. While there are many dimensions to hurt, its core lies in not transitioning from thinking to feeling to being. Being refers to a state of inner void or inner fullness-a deep stillness that transcends thought and emotion. In this state, one is free from the disorders of both thinking and feeling.
You can only hurt yourself when you lack a healthy attitude.Attitude creates altitude. One can choose to have the attitude of always being a winner in life. Have you ever thought about how it's possible to always be a winner? If you win, you win. If you lose, you learn-and therefore, you still win. With this attitude, one remains a winner in every situation. But don't forget: one should celebrate one's victories, learn from one's losses, and also celebrate the learning itself.
The ordinary paradigm is that when people win, they become greedy to win more and in the process, they lose the art of celebration. And when they lose, they worry more about winning than about learning. Notice how this leads to a dissipation of energy. Can you observe this?
Be more aware of your attitude. The moment one wins, there is happiness. But after a while, the wanting mind arises and begins to crave more. This wanting mind slips into a state of greed instead of simply celebrating the joy of winning. Also, we give too much importance to the words others say, without realising that they are just words. Whether it's a situation, an incident, or someone speaking harshly, try to see it as them expressing something profound in their own language and mode of communication. Tune into their mode, and don't get caught up in what you want them to say or how you wish the situation would unfold.
The mind is afraid of contradictions and paradoxes. Yet life is full of them. An untrained mind clings to its own patterns and resists anything that doesn't align with its internal logic. When life doesn't fit into that logic, we feel hurt. So, in a way, hurt is man-made.
Life is a fabulous gift-and like any gift, it needs to be unwrapped. Learn to keep this context of life alive within you. Most of us are busy preparing to live, but only a few are truly living.