We have many desires in our lives. Some of us console ourselves and feel happy with whatever we get. Others keep trying, no matter how long it takes, until they achieve what they seek. A person may start young and grow old in the struggle, sometimes becoming too old to enjoy the object of his pursuit. Are either of these approaches to achieving goals the right way?
A third approach is recommended. You can have a desire and put in your best efforts to fulfil it. But make sure you enjoy the effort rather than the fruits of your labour. There are those who make the effort while grumbling and murmuring, and are happy only when their desire is fulfilled. There are others who exhaust themselves in the effort to such a degree that they have no strength or enthusiasm left to enjoy the fruits of their labour.
The third method seems superior. Enjoy the effort. Without goals, human life would be essentially static, like that of plants rooted in the same place. But if you use the fulfilment of desire as a condition for contentment, you may be reducing your chances of happiness altogether. You decide that you will be happy only when you become the managing director of the company you work for. Now you are postponing the moment of your happiness to a point in the future. You will be happy only if and when you attain that position. You are not happy in the process of trying to reach it. Do you derive any pleasure from generating new ideas for your company’s growth? Can you enjoy the long hours you put in trying to implement those plans? Will you be happy when your superiors recognise the value of your work in many ways?
The third way celebrates the march towards the destination with happiness. Even if the destination is not reached, nobody can take away the sense of thrill at having run the race, or the delicious fatigue felt throughout the body. Happiness is derived not from reaching a goal, but from the struggle one undergoes in an attempt to reach it. Imagine that a motivational speaker is addressing an audience. Suppose he feels that he will be happy only if the audience gives him a thundering ovation when he completes his talk. That means he is not fully enjoying his talk; rather, his mind is fixed on a particular goal. That very concern may prevent him from giving his best and thus act as a barrier to attaining his goal.
Give your best and enjoy the effort. Ensure that you work smart, not just hard. Don’t go fishing in a bathtub and try to work up lather in a running stream. Instead, fish in a stream and work up lather in a bathtub. Set and evaluate your goals, estimate the quantum and quality of effort to be invested in attaining them, and calculate the ROI quotient carefully. If you are convinced that the ratio is satisfactory, go ahead and work towards your goals. That is smart work, intelligent effort.
Failure is a fact of life. In all competitive contexts, as in sports, for example, one side has to lose. I insist on the need to enjoy the effort rather than the success because I do not want the losers to feel that they have nothing to feel good about. Is a losing finalist at Wimbledon entitled only to feel sad about the final defeat, or may he also savour the success that carried him to the semi-finals and beyond? Failures are necessary to remind people of their essential human vulnerabilities.
