Being able to watch a favourite TV show without being forced to change the channel, is freedom for someone. For someone else, owning a bike and not having to depend on public transport is independence. Going out shopping and having own money to spend is freedom for another individual. Remaining healthy even in their 80s is the idea of independence for yet another. The connotation of Freedom factor is varied and interesting. And having just celebrated Independence Day, it is an ideal time to introspect if we as individuals experience independence in its true essence.
Most of us have come a long way in achieving freedom—we have our own country, our own home, our own car, our own money and our own position. It feels wonderful. Yet, one vital dimension keeps stealing our independence, off and on. We constantly rely on something or someone for who we are, what we do, and how we feel. We commonly say: “Doctor has asked me to avoid sweets, but I cannot resist,” “I have an exam tomorrow but this video game is too addictive to stop mid-way,” “I am upset because of them,” or “I raised my hand on my child unintendedly.” These illustrate that our thoughts, feelings, words, behaviour and even sense organs have slipped out of control. Whether we admit or not, we are not Emotionally Independent.
Emotional dependencies and addictions have subjected us to frequent suffering, victimisation, and a sense of suffocation. Think about this—we no longer choose whether to get angry or not. We no longer choose whether to feel hurt or not. We no longer choose whether to feel insecure or not. These emotions have gone into an automated mode because we have been using them far too often. The more we go into an automatic mode, our freedom to choose a response gets finished.
Ask yourself, “When do I get hurt, irritated, angry, or happy?” Your answer could be: “It DEPENDS ON the other person… it DEPENDS ON how they behaved… it DEPENDS ON how many people were around… it DEPENDS ON my situation… it DEPENDS ON what I possess…” If we want to list our dependencies, it is easy to guess a person, place, phone, internet, social media, television, coffee, tea, alcohol, smoking, food, shopping and so on. Deeper checking reveals subtle dependencies such as wanting people and situations to be our way, wanting approval, wanting love and respect, wanting our opinion to be counted… it can be a long list.
In case of our country, we were slaves to somebody else before August 15, 1947. We wanted independence from an external force. But the freedom we want now is from our own ways of thinking, self-defeating beliefs, habits, expectations, attachments, addictions and dependencies. So, our freedom struggle needs to be fought by ourselves, with ourselves. When we transcend physical and subtle dependencies, we experience freedom. When the thoughts we create, emotions we feel, words we speak, response to every scene are completely our choice, we experience freedom.
Situations will not always be in our control. People will behave as per their habits and perspectives. Physical possessions are transient and are meant to be used correctly. All of these are a stimulus. Our response is always our choice. For example, on days when we are in a good mood, we forgive people quickly, we overcome challenges easily, we don’t brood over losing a favourite pen, or we ignore mild aches and pains in the body. But on days when our mood is not very good, we get disturbed even in insignificant scenes. This implies our response depends only on us.
Repeat these affirmations and visualise them at least thrice every morning, thrice every night and any number of times during the day, to make your inner world free from your outer world—“I am a powerful being. I am the creator of my every thought, feeling, word and behaviour. I am the master of my mind, my body, my sense organs. I choose a response of purity, peace and love in every scene. People and situations have no connection to my response. I have the choice and the power to create the right feeling and behaviour with everyone, every time. I choose to eat and drink what is healthy. I choose to consume pure and positive information. I choose when and how much to use gadgets and other objects of comfort. I choose to buy only what is needed. I release all the pain and discomfort from the past. I let go of uncomfortable habits. I let go of dependencies and addictions. I am emotionally independent.”
IN-Dependence means to respond to every scene with our original qualities of peace, purity, love, happiness, compassion, forgiveness and acceptance. IN-Dependence means radiating blessings to those who wronged us, sharing and caring for someone who rejected us, co-operating with someone who is jealous of us, being kind to someone who is shouting at us. Independence means to be IN-dependent—Dependent only the ONE IN-side, when responding to every scene of life.
Happy In-Dependent Life!
The freedom we want now is from our own ways of thinking, self-defeating beliefs,
habits, expectations, attachments, addictions and dependencies.