WhatsApp? Handle with care
‘A man who dares to waste one hour of time has not discovered the value of life.’ —Charles Darwin
Two different incidents that happened over a period of six months taught me the need to practice caution on social media groups.
In an ordinary housing society in a crowded suburb of central Mumbai, there were children playing outdoors all day as their summer vacations were on.
One morning, Kripa, a 13-year-old girl, accidentally fell from the terrace of the six-storeyed building she lived in. Although in a coma for almost a week, she miraculously survived with multiple fractures and, in fact, recovered fully within eight months. The family members were naturally deeply anxious during this period.
Since the girl’s mother was not aware of social media or even WhatsApp, she was spared more agony that would have come her way otherwise.
During the accident, while the neighbours rushed the girl to the hospital, a group of well-wishers—not yet baptized by the selfie and smartphone culture—gathered around to protect the mother. They initially told her that Kripa fell while playing and had to be rushed to the hospital.
While driving the panicked mother to the hospital, two women who were fully aware of the seriousness of the matter, consciously downplayed the situation. They cushioned the grave news as the mother repeatedly wondered aloud about what exactly had happened to her daughter.
As the day passed in the hospital, the ladies gradually revealed that Kripa had fallen from the first-floor balcony.
Later they told her it was probably a fall from the second floor balcony. Other women from the housing society came to spend time with the mother through that day and the next, assuring her that everything would be fine.
Slowly, the mother figured out that things were probably worse than had been let on and, over time, her cognitive system braced itself to bear the news.
Slowly, each day they came closer to the truth and, by the time her daughter regained consciousness, the mother had learned about the eighty-foot fall.
While the doctors worked tirelessly, and relatives and friends prayed fervently, the mother survived what could have been an incredibly traumatic time thanks to the way the community rallied around her.
But imagine if she were active on WhatsApp? She would have probably had to face the shock much earlier.
Different groups on WhatsApp would have posted the news and photographs of the accident, and given her all the details of the tragedy right away.
The next story I want to share with you is about a 35-year-old lady from Mumbai, Sheila, a baptized veteran of the social media culture, who was rudely awakened to its dangers one day.
By her own admission, she was addicted to WhatsApp, and she would take selfies or update her Facebook status every half hour.
Pritam, her husband, worked 2,000 kilometres away in Kolkata and flew back home to his family every alternate weekend.
One morning in Kolkata, while he was out for his morning walk, a speeding car hit him and he passed away instantly. Even as his colleagues and friends wondered how to break the news to his wife, when Sheila woke up that morning, she got the news in an extremely insensitive manner.
Sheila’s daily ritual was to check Facebook and WhatsApp first thing in the morning to read funny jokes and enjoy videos.
She believed the best way to begin a day was to laugh every morning and what better way to do that than to check out the jokes her friends shared freely on WhatsApp.
This morning, though, she ended up reading about her husband’s death on various WhatsApp groups and saw messages that said things like ‘Let’s pray for the departed soul.’ She became hysterical with shock and horror.
It’s been a year since the tragedy as I write this. Sheila is recovering slowly from the deep depression she had slipped into. The incident not only revealed to her that she had more virtual friends than real ones, but also showed her that the phone isn’t quite the blessing that people think it is.
YOUR ACHILLES’ HEEL
A big reason people reach for the ‘comfort’ of their phones is to avoid loneliness. But we don’t seem to understand that this is a vicious cycle, and a superficial Band-Aid can’t heal our deep insecurities and fears. What consumes the mind is what controls one’s life.
We need to choose active, real and meaningful conversations to connect with others; we need to honestly contemplate what is important to us.
We can’t discount the importance of social media, but to give it top priority in our daily lives means us that we are handing over the reins of our lives to an unknown power.
Greek mythology tells the story of Achilles, who was invincible in battle. Well that was until the day a small arrow hit him on his heel and killed him.
At his birth, his mother had dipped him in the Styx, a river that granted immortality to his body. However, the heel with which she had held Achilles as she immersed him in the water remained untouched.
Achilles grew up to be a mighty warrior, dodging weapons hurled by enemies with ease, and winning many battles.
In fact, he was declared invincible. But when he was shot on his heel, the only part of his body that was vulnerable, he did not survive.
I talk about Achilles so we can look at our own weak spots. Human society has made incredible strides in science and technology, yet this small, poisonous arrow of a time-wasting obsession could be our fatal weakness, the reason for our downfall.
However talented or smart you think you are, you’ll have some weaknesses, for we all do. The negative forces inside your mind are as aware of your frailties as they are of your strengths.
So when you are inattentive to these distractions, you give power to the forces that work against your welfare.
It does not help that one is dismissive of ancient wisdom and the wise sayings of masters; nor does it help when one refuses to tap into the gifts one has.
Often, if you are busy with activities that are incongruent with your talent, you will likely get frustrated deep within, though in all likelihood you will be unaware of this.
Since there is no proper engagement for your mind, the Internet—like drugs or liquor—will quickly drag you down.Excerpted with permission from Mind Your Mind: Three Principles for Happy Living, published by Hachette.