All this while we were told that optimists live longer are happier and more content. They rarely see anything as insurmountable.
Every problem has a solution and the key to that is a positive attitude. But turns out, realists enjoy a greater sense of long-term well-being.
These new findings were published in the Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, and are hinged on an analysis from the British Household Panel Survey, tracking 1,600 people annually over 18 years.
Where is the problem
Mistaken expectations is the trouble-maker. Over-expecting or under-expecting, both lead to disappointment, which means optimists and pessimists are on the opposite ends of the spectrum, experiencing similar perturbations that stem from a pie-in-the-sky kind of thinking.
It’s realists who take balanced decisions made on accurate evidence and therefore, enjoy long-term happiness.
An optimist will always imagine and act as if the outcome is only going to be the best.
A realist bets his money on the most probable outcome. Therefore, while an optimist could make a risky judgement, a realist takes calculated risks.
Navi Mumbai-based social entrepreneur Dr Saurav Das quotes writer William Arthur Ward: ‘The pessimist complains about the wind; the optimist expects it to change; the realist adjusts the sails.’
“This sums it up perfectly. We’re bread to be optimistic. It’s deep conditioning that wants to protect us from misfortune. A part of it might be (or might not be), over-confidence. Maybe idealism.
But the new world needs balanced realists. People who weigh the pros and cons and reach an unbiased, practical, and realistic, decision,” he says.
On the flip side
The new finding hasn’t found a supporter in psychologist Anuja Kapur. That realists enjoy a greater sense of long-term well-being is not fortified, according to her.
"Realists don’t see the positive sides of a situation or play down the constructive sides of resources at hand. Optimism is a mindset that enables people to view the world, people, and events in the most favourable light, whereas a realist will always have a curbed approach. That’s why you’ll see a high-performance confidence in the former,” she says.
What matters in the end
The litmus test lies in how well you’ll deal with the emotions you’ve chosen, whether optimism, pessimism or realism.
Dubiety brings out different reactions at different times. “The questions to ask is that if the outcome doesn’t match expectations, do you have built-in resilience and self-esteem to tide over?” says Nuthan Manohar, Behavioural and Wellness Expert, Sarva.
While realism is necessary to pick the right stock in business, optimism is necessary to bounce back after the stock crash and not have a medical incident like a stroke in the process. It’s not a matter of choosing one over the other.
Different situations have different demands, according to Manohar. “The prefrontal cortex of the brain that defines one’s thinking ability is fully developed till age 25, so it’s necessary to have a better sense of realism at that time, whereas in old age, developing an optimistic attitude to deal with difficulties of daily living is better,” she shares.
In the current situation, everybody should be a realist. Living in a fool’s paradise with regards to the pandemic will lead to unpreparedness.
In fact, the co-author of the study, David de Meza, noted that optimists will see themselves as less susceptible to the risk of contracting the coronavirus disease and are less likely to take proper measures. Realists calculate the best and the worst before taking an accurate decision, according to Manohar.
This brings us to the question—can we train to be a realist? She answers in the affirmative.
“Realism is all about training to process information. If we can train ourselves to glean from various data points and then arrive at a conclusion, we’re likely to have a better-informed point of view.
"The philosophy closely associated with this is known as stoicism taught by Seneca in ancient Greece. The students are actively trained to think of all possible outcomes, even the worst. There is also an active distinction made on what is within control and what isn’t. The system goes a step further to assure that you are capable of surviving the worst if at all it comes to it,” she says.
It’s all about using the right tools in a given situation.
Straight talk
❖ A realist can visualise the best, the most probable and the worst outcome.
❖ They’re prepared for the worst.
❖ They’re often humble about a victory.
❖ The realist understands and takes into perspective a wider set of scenarios
❖ Realists finds practical ways out of a problem
Nuthan Manohar, Behavioural and Wellness Expert, Sarva
“Warren Buffet is a realist and Elon Musk is an optimist. Marcus Aurelius was a realist, Alexander was an optimist. However, what we need to remember is that it's better to bet your money on a realist than an optimist. On the other hand, when it comes to choosing your doctor, various studies indicate that the assurance an optimistic doctor can give you is beneficial for your recovery.”
Dr Saurav Das, Social entrepreneur
“We’re bred to be optimistic. It’s deep conditioning that wants to protect us from misfortune. A part of it might be (or might not be), over-confidence. Maybe idealism. But the new world needs balanced realists... people who weigh the pros and cons and reach an unbiased, practical, and realistic, decision.”