In this epoch of information overload, we watch a thousand crises unfold every day, where the sacred mixes with the profane at top speed, where the latest war updates are followed in quick succession by clips on how to wear a mekhela chador the proper way, how to make naan on an overturned tawa, what Ji Chang Wook said at the Gucci launch. This is popcorn for the brain, a topic I have addressed in an earlier column; we ingest everything, gulp it down, then move quickly on to the next snippet. Who really has the time to linger?
However, shards of this hastily ingested news stays with some of us long enough to become a conversation piece at the next dinner, where we spout some stats on the ongoing ceasefire violations in Gaza, mention the many children killed in the conflict, take a deep breath and confide that it verily puts us off our food… “because I’m an empath.”
Who or what is an empath? Well, Google tells us an empath is a person who is deeply attuned to the feelings and emotions of others, often experiencing them as if they were their own. This ability goes beyond standard empathy, which is the ability to understand another’s perspective, and extends to actually sensing and absorbing another’s emotional state.
The heightened sensitivity that comes with being a genuine empath actually puts a crimp in any bid to scroll to the next post or video clip. Empaths usually feel overwhelmed by the situation they have heard of, read about or seen; alongside this feeling of being drained, they sometimes suffer from a brainfreeze, unable to really do anything beyond feeling low.
Admit it: that’s not us, right? We feel a momentary pang, pause to ask ourselves just why these problematic situations seem to go on and on, then go back to our book, message a friend about that handloom sale at the Institute, or post about how we think Ba***ds of Bollywood is pure tripe.
It’s another case that psychiatry does not slot an empath into any properly defined medical or diagnostic category. And since there’s no official diagnoses of empaths, chances are that very few people are true-blue ones, with an endless capacity for emotional absorption.
While an empath is portrayed as an individual who really cares for the world, one who suffers alongside the sufferers, there’s another angle to this: being a genuine empath could well be detrimental to one’s mental health. The moment we become emotional sponges, unable to separate others’ feelings from our own, we lose the ability to step back and analyse the problem dispassionately, look for solutions, act towards alleviating suffering.
True empaths may connect better with humans and animals but may not have a healthy sense of self-regard. Distancing oneself, disciplining one’s emotions, setting up a guardrail so as not to fall into another’s slough of despond, would help empaths deal better with the world.
So basically, what I am saying is that there are very few genuine empaths around. And that’s not necessarily a bad thing. The rest of us are sympathisers. We have our hearts in the right place, are disturbed on varied levels by the things we hear and watch happening around us, out in the world and amongst our kith and kin.
But unlike the empath who freezes and self-isolates, it is the sympathiser who sends money or a care package to a conflict zone somewhere, who volunteers with their time and effort. While alluding to oneself as an empath might sound good, chances are the authentic Good Samaritans are the sympathisers.
